Cinderella: A Common Girl with Uncommon Forgiveness

For Christmas, a good friend gave our family the 2015 Disney movie Cinderella. Have you seen it? I hadn’t, but our family watched it the night we were given it, and it was wonderful.

The movie has essentially the same plot as the animated version from 1950, only this time with actors and more content to the story (for example, her original name was just Ella). I appreciated Cinderella’s extraordinary “courage and kindness,” the watchwords she lives by after her mother passes away. And after Cinderella’s father dies (more tragedy!), these ideals are certainly tested. Cinderella’s stepmother and stepsisters treat her not as a sister but a slave. She lives in a dark, drafty attic with only mice for friends. However, what impressed me more than her courage and kindness, was her capacity to forgive her captors.

In every good story, the climax brings resolution to not only one conflict, but the many conflicts in the story. Donald Miller talks about conflict within stories in three broad categories:

internal conflicts (e.g., does the hero have what “it” takes?),
external conflicts (e.g., will the people be saved from danger?), and
philosophical conflicts (e.g., will evil triumph over good?).

We can debate the central conflict of Cinderella, but it would seem to me, it’s this: Will all the cruelty and all the tragedies make Cinderella, in the end, bitter or beautiful?

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I’m sure you know the answer, but you should watch it anyway. At our family breakfast table the next morning, my wife and I had an excellent discussion with our children about the movie, and in particular, Cinderella’s ability to forgive, which is what kept her from becoming bitter.

Talking about all of this, I’m reminded of something Gavin Ortlund wrote about movies and the good news story of Jesus. Movies dramatize the human longing for the Christian gospel. That statement, of course, needs some qualification. Here’s what Ortlund means and doesn’t mean:

When I say movies are searching for the gospel, I don’t mean the content of the gospel, but more the shape of the gospel. Movies tap into our deepest emotions because they draw on truths and realities that only make sense in light of the gospel, and the questions they ask are only resolved in the gospel.

In other words, movies (and stories in general), don’t explicitly teach that God is on a rescue mission to redeem his creation through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. That’s gospel-explicit content. But movies do, he writes, often feature themes of “good versus evil,” “happy endings,” and “suffering and sacrificial love,” which are themes that have the shape of the gospel.

The movie Cinderella is no exception. Whether you have young children or not, I’d encourage you to watch the movie. If you do see it, below are some questions (and a few brief comments) to help guide your discussion at the breakfast table the next morning.

*     *     *

Discussion Questions:

1. What made you laugh? It’s not a comedy, but it is funny. Don’t skip this one if you have kiddos.

2. What two words did Cinderella’s mother tell her to live by, and how did Cinderella live these out? Oops, I already gave the answer (“courage and kindness”). Still, it’s worth discussing the second half of this question.  

3. What makes someone beautiful, and what makes someone ugly? And where does beauty matter most, on the inside or outside? This is an important theme in the movie, and for that matter, the Bible. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).

4. How did the fairy godmother look when she first appeared to Cinderella? How did Cinderella treat her? How would you have treated her? Matthew 25:40, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

5. Lady Tremaine, the stepmother, also had many difficult things happen to her. What were some of them? Does this give you sympathy for her? How did Cinderella and her stepmother react differently to grief? Though both were given lemons, the difference between the two is the difference between a sip of lemonade and a giant mouthful of sour candy.

6. When Kit and Cinderella first meet in the woods, Kit asks Cinderella if she is treated well. How does she answer this question? Why is this an interesting and beautiful answer? She answers, “As best as they can (as best as they are able).”

7. How do you choose whom you will marry? I’m not entirely sure which direction to take this question, though it seems to be central to the movie. The clear answer is that “marrying for advantage” is wrong and “marrying for love” is right. But why? Talk about that.

8. At the very end, why do The Grand Duke, the stepmother, and the stepsisters leave the kingdom? Are they banished or do they choose to leave? Was reconciliation not possible? The narrator says, “Forgiven or not, Cinderella’s stepmother and her daughters would soon leave with the Grand Duke, and never set foot in the kingdom again.” In other words, their exile was self-inflicted.

9. What are some of the difficult things that happened to Cinderella? There were many, many things.

10. What is the most difficult thing that happens to Cinderella? Walking out the door of her father’s house for the last time, with Kit, her soon-to-be husband, on her arm, Cinderella paused. She turned. She looked up at her stepmother. And she said, “I forgive you.” That’s the most difficult thing in the movie, in my opinion. And where does this strength come from? The shape of the gospel. 

Five Favorites from 2016

In December, it’s nice to spend some time looking back over the year. This week, I thought I’d share five of my favorite (and most popular) blog posts from 2016. I hope that’s not too narcissistic. There have been some new subscribers recently, and I thought it might help them become more familiar with the things I write.

If you had another favorite (not one of these five), I’d love to hear it! Let me know in the comments below.

*     *     *

1. The Problem with the Pinterest Dream Wedding
Posted at Desiring God on June 6, 2016

Dear engaged Christian couple,

I’m honored that you would ask me to officiate your wedding and walk you through pre-marital counseling. It’s been a joy to see your faith in Christ, your service together in the church, and your love for each other grow.

During our counseling meetings, we’ll talk through things like the lifelong commitment of marriage, becoming a new family, having and raising children, budgeting and finances, and sexual intimacy. These tend to be the sensitive areas that have the potential to bring great joy, but also, at times, great pain in the years to come.

But I’m writing today about your wedding — about the day, the service, and the celebration after.

There seems to be a subtle, but growing, pressure on couples to make their wedding day better than others, a kind of competition to have the Pinterest dream wedding. No one says it outright (it would sound ridiculous). But it happens, and it seems to me like it happens a lot . . . [Continue Reading]

2. Can You Really Become Unoffendable?
(A Book Review of Unoffendable by Brant Hansen’s)
Posted at The Gospel Coalition, June 29, 2016

WARNING: You might not want to read Brant Hansen’s Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better because, as you read it, you’ll have more opportunities to practice being unoffended. 

At least that’s what happened to me several times. As a teaching pastor in a local church, there always seems to be a cluster of people who run a low-grade fever of disappointment with me. Recently, the fever spiked. And despite my “warning” above, I was thankful to have Unoffendable coach me along the way.

But this isn’t just my life, is it? Likely you’ve also found ways to offend others. It’s not hard to do; it’s natural for us as sinners. Moreover, our world—sometimes even Christian subculture—trains us not to have a chip on our shoulder but a lumberyard. We see this when the predictable cultural “buttons” are pushed concerning issues like abortion and marriage, and now bathrooms, but also in less expected ways. Consider John Piper’s article last winter on guns and self-defense. The volley of response articles revealed his article didn’t simply touch a nerve; it grabbed one with tweezers and yanked. . . . [Continue Reading]

3. YOUR BEST LIFE NOW by Joel Osteen (FAN AND FLAME Book Reviews)
Posted at FAN AND FLAME, July 19, 2016

Joel Osteen is the pastor of Lakewood Baptist Church in Huston, Texas. He’s been the pastor there since 1999. Osteen is extremely popular. His sermons are broadcast all over the world. He even has his own Sirius radio station that plays 48 sermons a day (Channel 128, if you’re interested). And he has almost 4.5 million followers on Twitter. I’m one of them.

Yet for all this popularity, lots of people don’t like him. Some of those who don’t like him do so because he smiles a lot and has a huge church (I mean, huuge!). I think these are poor reasons to not like the guy. I’ll point out some better ones in a minute. But before I do, I’ll say that in Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential, I actually appreciate several things. For one, I appreciate Joel’s repeated expressions of affection for his father, the late John Osteen to whom the book is dedicated. At one point, I even teared up as Joel recounted the last time he saw his father alive (pp. 247-8). I also appreciated Osteen’s belief in the supernatural; our culture is losing this. “We serve a supernatural God,” he writes. “He is not limited to the laws of nature. He can do what human beings cannot do” (p. 127). I suppose I agree.

However, all of us know people who speak well of their father. And all of us know people who believe in the supernatural. Neither of these—alone—makes a person a Christian. And this gets at my real frustration with the book: Your Best Life Now, though it fashions itself as a Christian book, is not. . . . [Continue Reading]

4. Consumer v. Covenant Relationships
Posted at FAN AND FLAME, July 19, 2016

Each time I share a message in a wedding, it’s a little different. That’s because every couple is different. Below is the most recent message I shared at a friend’s wedding. In it, I talk about the difference between “consumer” and “covenant” relationships. I find this distinction to be a helpful way to explain the greater meaning of marriage. . . . [Continue Reading]

5. Darkness Is My Only Food
Posted at FAN AND FLAME, February 23, 2016

I’m at a theology conference. It’s dinner time and a wonderful looking spread has been provided in the foyer of the mega-church hosting the conference. Just one thing left to do. I look for someone who seems to be in charge. I find a man and woman sitting at a desk. I ask if there is someone here from the catering company because I just need to ask a quick question.

He responds, “They already left. Can I help?”

“Maybe,” I say. “I just need to know about some of the ingredients. I have a few food allergies.”

“Oh, what are you allergic to?” he asks.

I lowered my head and began to walk away. “Thanks,” I mumbled, “I’ll just call the caterer myself.”

Tonight, I’m not in the mood to answer this question because sometimes—as my family jokes—it’s easier to talk about what I am not allergic to than what I am allergic to. . . . [Continue Reading]

[Top photo by Ben White / Unsplash]

When Sin is Serious, Salvation is Joyous

Last Sunday, Christians around the world began celebrating the season of Advent. The word “advent” is from the Latin word adventus, which means “coming.” Thus, the Advent season is a time to reflect upon the coming of Jesus, especially his coming to earth in the first Christmas story. It is a preparatory season, a time to prepare our hearts and minds to behold the beauty of Jesus.

Sometimes, however, the celebration in our hearts is only hum-drum. Our hearts do not explode with fireworks at the joy of the incarnation. Instead, they flicker by the light, as it were, of a single votive candle somewhere off in the distance.

Likely there are many reasons for this, but perhaps one reason is we do not see sin as serious, and thus our salvation is not as joyous as it could be, even should be.

Home by Marilynne Robinson

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I’ve been reading through a series of novels by Marilynne Robinson. She is a gifted author, and for many years has played various roles at the renowned creative writing program at the University of Iowa (currently Professor Emeritus). The series includes Gilead (2004), which won a Pulitzer Prize, Home (2008), and Lila (2014). Each novel tells a version of the same story through the eyes of a different character. The stories center around two pastors and their families in the small town of Gilead, Iowa in the middle of the twentieth century.

The second book, Home, tells the story from the perspective of Glory, the daughter of the Presbyterian minister Robert Boughton.

I’m mentioning all of this because of a fascinating description by Glory about the spiritual complacency of her town and her father’s preaching about sin. She says,

Complacency was consistent with the customs and manners of Presbyterian Gilead and was therefore assumed to be justified in every case. . . . Even her father’s sermons treated salvation as a thing for which they could be grateful as a body. . . . He did mention sin, but it was rarefied in his understanding of it, a matter of acts and omissions so common­place that no one could be wholly innocent of them or especially alarmed by them, either — the uncharitable thought, the neglected courtesy. . . (p. 111)

Taken in the context of the novel, it’s not entirely clear whether we should view Glory’s description of her father’s preaching as wholly reliable. Glory, while respectful of her father and her father’s faith, does not seem to have embraced Christianity herself. Regardless, the essence of what Glory says is that in the estimation of the town (and perhaps her father), sin isn’t so bad, and therefore complacency over sin is justified.

But is this really good preaching?

The reviewer of Home in the New York Times, A. O. Scott, seems to appreciate this charitable and tolerant approach toward sin. Scott writes,

There is real kindness and generosity in the town, and its theological disposition is accordingly tolerant and charitable. Reverend Boughton embodies this forgiving, welcoming spirit.

In the above quote, I’m not sure whether Scott has in mind the old meaning of tolerance, which indeed is a virtue, or the new meaning of tolerance, which is not. (“Old tolerance” means, though you do not agree with another person, you still believe he or she has the right to believe it, and therefore you tolerate the person and the view. “New tolerance” means all points of view, regardless of their merit, are equally laudable.)

Still, going back to the description by Glory, notice the specific wording she uses to describe her father’s preaching about sin. She says, according to her father, sins were mere “acts and omissions so common­place that no one could be wholly innocent of them or especially alarmed by them.”

What kind of sins might have been discussed in these sermons? Apparently, nothing too disturbing. Using the terminology of our own day, apparently he was preaching about the sins of failing to call your mother on her birthday; the sins of not returning emails fast enough; the sins of thinking mean thoughts about a homeless man and the misspelling on his cardboard sign; and the sins of not helping the neighbor kid with her fundraiser. Sins like this.

It would seem that Reverend Boughton preached about transgressions so innocent and un-alarming as to hardly require a savior at all. We’ve all made mistakes, dropped the ball, and fallen short of the glory of the good Samaritan. These kinds of sins happen to the best of us, and we’re sorry about it, but we’re certainly not alarmed.

What does the Bible say about sin and salvation?

Don’t misunderstand me, though. My negative comments about Reverend Boughton’s preaching are not reflective of my view of the whole novel and the series, which I’m rather enjoying. Perhaps I’m overly sensitive because it’s my profession that’s being discussed.

And please do not think that I am advocating the hellfire preaching of yesteryear. My point is simply that Boughton’s light-on-sin-preaching, wherever it does exist, is a shame. It’s a shame not because it’s wimpy preaching (“real men preach about sin”). Rather, this type of preaching is unbecoming to ministers because it’s not faithful to the Bible, which is the only true measure of preaching, not my personal preferences. And in the Bible, sin is certainly an ugly, fearsome, insidious thing which wars against the Creator and the ultimate flourishing of humanity.

Consider what Jesus says in Mark 7:21–23,

For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.

And look at this list of sins from Romans 1:29–31,

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

In short, sin is alarming.

And if sin against a holy God is serious, then we should despair. Except, of course, Christians shouldn’t despair. We don’t despair because there is a Savior who drank the cup of God’s wrath, and therefore, there’s nothing left for Christians to drink (Mark 14:36; Romans 3:25–26).

It’s this good news that causes the Apostle Paul to burst into song in 1 Corinthians 15:55. Because of the incarnation, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, Paul writes,

O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?

On this point—in the Bible sin is serious and therefore salvation is joyous—I could go on and on, but just consider the way this two-pronged theme so frequently occurs in our beloved Christmas hymns. Take, for example, the familiar lines in O Holy Night. Yes, of course, “long lay the world in sin and error pining.” But this is not the whole story. The verse continues, “[when the Savior appears] the weary world rejoices.”

Conclusion

It’s the times when I have seen my sin as deeply offensive to God—not as minor mistakes or foibles or idiosyncrasies of my personality—that the good-news story of Jesus has actually been to me good news, not a cliché.

But this kind of self-reflection requires courage. As pastor and author Timothy Keller writes in his recent book Hidden Christmas,

Are you willing to say, “I am a moral failure. I don’t love God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind. I don’t love my neighbor as myself. And, therefore, I am guilty, and I need forgiveness and pardon . . .”?

It takes enormous courage to admit these things, because it means throwing your old self-image out and getting a new one through Jesus Christ.

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And yet that is the foundation for all the other things that Jesus can bring into your life—all the comfort, all the hope, all the joyful humility, and everything else. (60–61)

Let me return to where I began. This Christmas, my hope and prayer is that our hearts will explode with praise over the salvation that comes through Jesus. If this is to happen, first we need to reckon seriously with the darkness within us. If we do this, then we’ll appreciate that from outside of us “a light has dawned” (Matthew 4:16).

[Picture by Alessandro Viaro / Unsplash]

Visions of God – A Hymn I Wrote

John Calvin famously wrote, “Man never attains to a true self-knowledge until he has previously contemplated the face of God, and come down after such contemplation to look into himself” (Institutes of the Christian Religion, 1.1.2).

In other words, there is a feedback loop at work: We can’t (truly) know ourselves until we know God.

In the Bible, when men and women come face to face with God—that is, when the volume of this feedback loop is turned up loud—the response is always the same, and it’s always twofold: a heightened sense of one’s own sinfulness and a heightened sense of the holiness of God.

Several years ago, I wrote a hymn about this experience of coming face to face with God. It’s called “Visions of God.” I included the lyrics and the audio below. I hope you enjoy it.

I based the hymn on the passages where Job, Isaiah, and Peter have dramatic encounters with God (Job 42:1–9, Isaiah 6:1–7, Luke 5:1–11). While these encounters (and the others like them in the Bible) have always been interesting to me, I found it difficult to capture their experiences in a song. People often complain about the music in church, but I don’t think most of them realize how difficult it is to write a good song until they have tried it themselves. This humbling experience is a lesson I’ve had the privilege of learning several times.

I didn’t set the hymn to music. That would have been far more than humbling; it would have been impossible! I’m very thankful that one of my brothers (Brian) is very gifted musically and was able to do this. Brian’s wife (Molly), who is also very gifted, was gracious enough to help him. Though the audio recording below is only a rough demo, I think it turned out very well.

The only other comment that I would like to make on the hymn is that I know it is not the whole story. I realize there is much more to Job, Isaiah, and Peter’s encounter with God than what was felt on the front side of their experience. That is to say, there is more to their experience (and our experience for that matter) than an overwhelming sense of our smallness and sinfulness.  

If I had written another hymn, I would have attempted a sequel to “Visions of God.” In it I would have attempted to write about the great mercy of God in forgiving Job’s self-righteousness and God’s blessing the latter part of his life more than the first; the mercy of the atoning coal that touched Isaiah’s lips and his commissioning as a missionary; and the mercy of the instructions to Peter, “Do not be afraid” and his new employment as a “fisher of men.”

Maybe someday I will write that hymn.

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Visions of God

Verse 1
I knew by the hearing of the ear
But thunder, storm, and lightning roared
Now in dust and ashes I repent in holy fear
For my eyes have seen, seen the sovereign Lord

Chorus
To know me as I am
And see You as you are
Sovereign and Wise
Holy and True (x 2)

Verse 2

Woe is me, I am undone
I am a man with lips unclean
Now all my former ways I shun
For my eyes have seen, they have seen the King

Chorus

Verse 3
Faced with the greatness of the haul
I know I am a man with sin
Now to the Saviors knees I fall
For my eyes have seen, the Fisher of Men

Chorus

[Picture by Sam Ferrara / Unsplash]

Riddle My Fiddle – My First Book

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On December 6, the book I co-authored, More People to Love, is being released. Can’t wait to share it with you. The popular Christian radio host, Brant Hansen, wrote the foreword. The book will be for sale at Amazon.com for $7.99.

Last week, I received this recommendation from my former boss and pastor, Greg Lavine:

More People to Love paints a vision – to move us from where we are to a place more situated to live out the gospel. It compels us to leave behind comfort and convenience to love people, all kinds of people, specifically people who look different from us.

– Greg Lavine
Senior Pastor, New Life Bible Fellowship, Tucson, Arizona

This is all pretty exciting to me.

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My First book. Click to Enlarge.

My mother, however, informed me More People to Love won’t be my first book. Then, she texted me a picture of a book I wrote when I was eight years old! You can see the picture below.

The whole book is hilarious. At one point, I wrote that I wanted to be an engineer when I grow up, or maybe an astronomer. One of those turned out to be true, at least for six years.

But my favorite entry in the book is a poem I wrote. It makes (almost) no sense. If you care to, you can read it below.

I do, however, love the phrase “riddle my fiddle” that I used near the end of the poem. In fact, I’ve now been saying “riddle my fiddle” around the house for the last two weeks. By the way, it’s more fun to say it if you slap your knee at the same time. You’re welcome to use this phrase, too. Seriously, no copyright infringement. You have my permission.

When you go down to the wood, you’re sure to find a big surprise,
For Grammy Nelly has forgot her tell, and Nelly the Elephant quit the Circus too.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall watching Leads United [a British soccer team] score a goal, and Humpty was delighted. Riddle my fiddle!
The cat jumped over the moon. And the Cow watched me riddle my fiddle.

I know what you’re thinking. I was a child prodigy. Thanks.

[Picture by Jared Erondu / Unsplash]

How to Survive the Apocalypse

No, I'm not actually talking about today’s elections. I’m sure some of you feel like that, though. Instead, I’m talking about a book review I wrote that was published today. The full title of the of the book is How to Survive the Apocalypse: Zombies, Cylons, Faith, and Politics at the End of the World.

Here’s a portion of my review . . . 

*     *     *

Two buckets, each holding 120 pre-packaged meals. That’s what I recently loaded into our minivan as we left to return from vacation. “Just add water,” my friend said. “They’ll last ya 25 years without going bad.”

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He was trying to get me ready for what he believed just might be America’s impending dystopian future—whether caused by massive civil unrest, an electromagnetic pulse bomb . . . or something worse, something otherworldly. Truly: My friend is actually, actively preparing for the end of the world.

Professors Robert Joustra and Alissa Wilkinson wrote their book to do the same: to prepare us for the apocalypse. Their approach, however, is less Swiss Army Knife and more Encyclopedia Britannica.

Drawing heavily—very heavily—from Canadian philosopher Charles Taylor, they show that apocalyptic art not only portends the future but also, perhaps mainly, reveals who we are now.

The first several chapters provide philosophical and historical background. Then they move to cultural reflection. We learn about ourselves from shows like “Battlestar Galactica,” which is where the word cylon in the subtitle comes from. We learn from the antihero main characters in television shows like “Breaking Bad,” “Mad Men” and “House of Cards.” And we learn what living among the undead teaches about us in “The Walking Dead” and the movie World War Z.

In the final chapter, the authors offer lessons from the prophet Daniel, not chiefly from his spectacular visions of the future but from his faithful courage and strategic compromises while living in Babylon.

Here are two considerations readers might find helpful . . . 

To read the rest of the review, go to EFCA NOW (the blog of the Evangelical Free Church of America).

[Picture by Frantzou Fleurine / Unsplash]

40 Strategies to Struggle Against Porn

A few years ago, if a man had asked me, “What does it look like to struggle against pornography?” I’m not sure I would have had an answer, not one I could articulate anyway.

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For the last few months, I’ve been doing a lot of reading and writing about the topic of pornography. I’m not ready to post any of the findings yet, but I thought I’d show you where the “table of contents” is headed. Look for more on this topic from me in 2017.

*     *     *

Introduction

Part I: Foundations

1. Verily, verily, I say unto thee, ye must be born-again.
2. Get your worldview right. [Sex is not god or gross. Sex is a good gift from a good God.]
3. Acknowledge the beauty of the lordship of Christ in all of life.
4. Believe sexual sin is wrong and cultivate a hatred of it.
5. Fight for superior joys.
6. Recognize the grave danger.
7. Run like the wind.
8. Pray.
9. Make it personal: the women are real image bearers.
10. Remember that your holiness (and sin) affects the whole body.
11. Through confession and repentance, expose sin to the light.

Part II: Cross-Training

12. Cultivate humility.
13. Replace harmful thoughts with healthy ones.
14. Memorize Scripture strategically.
15. Maintain a strong devotional life.
16. Don’t avoid conflict; engage it.
17. Run from, and become indifferent to, flattery.
18. Be intoxicated with your wife.
19. Avoid “dude-talk.”
20. Fill your life with things you love.
21. Cultivate the fear of the Lord.

Part III: The Nitty-Gritty

22. Stop masturbating.
23. Don’t be alone with sexual temptation.
24. Have an accountability partner.
25. Only have computers (including tablets and smartphones) in public areas.
26. Install accountability software on all devices.
27. Always be reading a book about the topic.
28. Cut off all access to sexually stimulating media.
29. Know your situational and emotional triggers; take precautions accordingly.
30. Use visual “smelling salts” to resist sexual sin.
31. Share the existence of the struggle with your spouse.
32. Go to bed when your wife goes to bed.
33. Communicate your sexual needs to your spouse.
34. Treat the sexual needs of your spouse as more important than your own.
35. As needed, seek professional help.

Part IV: A Bright Future

36. Become a passionate teacher and a spiritual father.
37. Maintain gospel-identity.
38. Understand the Lord’s discipline as his training of the sons he dearly loves.
39. Cling to Christian hope.
40. Whatever you do, don’t stop serving Jesus.

Conclusion

[Picture by Gilles Lambert / Unsplash]

Beware of the Me Monster

If you don’t know the comedian Brian Regan, I’d love to introduce you to him now. I’ve been a fan of his for the last ten years, though he’s been doing stand-up comedy for much longer than that.

For my birthday last Sunday, my wife and I were given tickets to see Regan perform. What a gift! It was the first and only time that I’ve seen him live. He did not disappoint. Almost all of his material was brand new.

My all-time favorite bit, however, is called, “Beware of the Me Monster,” which you can watch below or click here to see. A “Me Monster” is someone who always has a better story, a better joke, a better experience. They tend to dominate social settings.

It seems to me that it is one role of poets, prophets, and preachers to cause us to reflect deeply on human nature, especially to do so in fresh ways. The best comedians assume this mantle, too. Sure, they want us to laugh, but sometimes it’s an awkward, uncomfortable, guilty laugh. At one point in the clip, Regan even asks rhetorically, “What is it about the human condition that we get something out of [topping another person’s story]?”

I’ve often wanted to show this clip when I train small group Bible study leaders. Small group leaders have to deal with so many different personalities and levels of maturity. There are new Christians and long-time Christians; there are those comfortable praying out loud and those who are not; and there are those who don’t talk enough and those who are . . . Me Monsters.

And by the way, if you don’t know who the Me Monster is in your group of friends, uh-oh, it might be you!

[Picture from Comedy Central]

Social Media Jealously

I’m taking a break from social media. A few weeks ago, on all three of my main social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) I posted some version of these sentences:

Except for the occasional post, I'm taking a rest from social media. My heart is frazzled. If rehab goes well, I'll be back in November.

Bringing up my time away from social media on my blog, however, feels strange, perhaps even wrong. I almost feel guilty of what the Babylon Bee was making fun of in the article, “Man Live-Tweets Social Media Fast.” Their point was this: get over yourself.

Still, I thought I’d mention a few of the reasons for the break, not primarily because I think “everyone wants to know,” but because I thought it might help you think through your own usage of social media.

For the most part, the decision was motivated by three things. First, I was receiving so many updates and notifications that it was hard to function with the constant interruptions. And even when I wasn’t receiving notifications, I developed a strange, creepy desire to constantly check my phone. I felt this urge the second I woke up; I felt it while I worked; I felt it at home. I was beginning to have trouble concentrating. It’s difficult to measure, but it seemed to me that I was even reading my Bible with less and less thoughtfulness. It was terrible.

The second reason for the break was that I was beginning to resent the trivializing of all information that was taking place in my heart. As you scroll through your social media feed, you see both stupid cat videos and shootings. Personally, I don’t know if the human soul was meant to take in information that way; I know that I’m not able to do it.

The third reason for the break was the main reason. I found myself having a strange twinge of jealousy every time I opened a social media app. It was awful.

At its core, envy is the belief in an alternate “gospel.” It’s the belief that something other than Jesus will satisfy our deepest longings. It’s the belief that something—whatever it is—if we have it, it will let us “depart in peace.”

When I’m jealous of what I see in other people’s social media feeds—whether family stuff, or pastor stuff, or writing stuff, or exercise stuff, or big-house stuff, or whatever stuff makes me become jealous—I’m not believing the real gospel. Rather, I’m believing The Gospel of Stuff: if I have the right stuff, then I can depart in peace.

Do you know what event made me realize how badly I need a break? It was a book review, actually—one I posted a few weeks ago. Now, let me say this first. The book is a good book, certainly one worth reviewing. We even sell it in our church bookstore.

But let me tell you why I also wrote the review. In part, I wrote the review because I’d love to become friends with the two young authors who wrote the book. Moreover, I have a writing project that I’ve been tinkering with for the last 18 months, and I think it would fit perfectly with the same publisher that published their book.

Do you see where this is going? If I reviewed their book, well, maybe it would grease the publishing wheels a bit.

I suppose this motivation isn’t entirely wrong. After all, the wheels of publishing don’t turn easily. But I do know that the size of my desire for these things grew to a sinful proportion.

By the end of that Tuesday night, both authors had hit “like” to my Tweet about my review. It felt nice. When I saw the second author do that right before bedtime, however, I could hear Jesus say to me, “You have received your reward in full.”

Now, he didn’t actually say this to me, as though I saw a bright vision and heard an audible voice. But if God has ever spoken to me, I’d say that he did so then. Those words come from a sermon Jesus gave in Matthew 6. Jesus spoke them to some people who were trying very hard to earn the approval of others. And when they got it, he told them they’d “received their reward in full.”

So, I’m taking a month off from social media. My heart is frazzled and needs to heal. I’ll keep writing and posting things on my blog, but I need to spend some extra time repenting of sin and soaking in the gospel. By the way, I’m so thankful that when Jesus truly loves someone, he loves them enough to keep them from drifting away from himself, even if it’s only in subtle ways at first. Thank you, Jesus. 

[Picture by Kate Serbin / Unsplash]

More People to Love, Preface

In early December of this year (2016), Jason Abbott (my co-pastor) and I are launching a book. It’s called, More People to Love: How the Bible Starts in a Garden and Ends in a City and What That Means for You. Below is a sneak peak at the preface I wrote.

How Can I Help?  First, we’ll need a dozen or so “beta readers”—people to read and comment on the manuscript before it’s published. Second, we’ll also need people (hopefully quite a few people!) to promote the book on social media. If you want to help with either of these, please send me an email (benjamin@fanandflame.com or click here).

*     *     *

Jason Abbott and I are teaching pastors at Community Evangelical Free Church in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Our church is not large, by any means, but we are growing. And the growth is putting a strain on our current building facilities. We’re like a toddler with a onesie that’s getting snug—we can make it a little while in our current outfit, but soon we’re going to need a bigger one. Nevertheless, finding and buying a larger building, as well as selling our old building and moving, is a challenging prospect.

In addition to this, we feel called by God to plant other churches. This probably won’t happen for a few years, but we need to plan for it now. It, too, will be challenging.

Oh, and as if these prospects weren’t enough, our church needs to grow in diversity. Our congregation is not nearly as diverse as our surrounding community. We’ve prayed and talked about this for some time, but now we need to address it in a less passive way. And that’s also going to be hard.

These potential changes (along with a dozen others) while exciting, are also scary. People don’t typically like change, and pastors are people too.

Despite all this, we’re not at the place of despair. Far from it! We’re full of hope. But, in order to see why, it might be helpful to back up. Somewhere in 2012, another pastor sent me an email that said simply:

More people to love.

Thanks,
John

This email changed things for me. When I received it, the church I was serving was growing rapidly. Someone needed to evaluate the current trends and create a plan to accommodate the growth. So I drew from my former career in engineering, opened up Microsoft Excel, and took a hard look at our attendance data. I created pretty graphs and conservative growth projections for the next few years, and I sent them to the staff and elders.

At that time, I was primarily viewing the new people as more of a problem than a blessing. As the pastor who was charged with overseeing the connection of newcomers to the church, I viewed new people as new problems. The line on the graph representing attendance might as well have been labeled “Benjamin’s workload.” For every fifty new people, could I really keep adding five hours to my workweek? At some point, simply trying harder wasn’t going to solve the problem. (Again, there’s that word, “problem.”)

Then, just a few minutes after I sent my concerned email, I received John’s reply: “More people to love.” That’s all it said. I remember staring at my computer screen. The contrast between my approach and John’s was stark. He was ready for adventure, ready to see his story and the story of our church in light of the Big Story of the Bible. I was not.

Following the sting came repentance.

That was four years ago. Now, in the providence of God, I’m at a new church. And the situation is similar: a growing church, a growing workload, and growing fear.

Then I remember John’s email, and I’m encouraged, even excited. It reminds me that the Big Story of God is about the love of God growing and expanding. John’s email reminds me that what started with two in a garden ends with a multitude in a city. And while faithfully living inside this story, God’s Big Story, has always been hard, it’s also always worth it—because God is worth it.

The following seven chapters are about this Big, Always-worth-it Story. These chapters have been adapted from a series of sermons Jason and I preached at our church. But they aren’t simply about our church. Yes, we preached them to prepare our congregants for a potential building change. Yes, we preached them to prepare our local church for the challenges of church planting. And yes, we preached them to prepare our fellowship to grow in its ability to love our surrounding community. But these chapters are about something more fundamental than these objectives. Foundationally, they are not about our church at all. They are about God’s plan, as revealed from Genesis to Revelation, to “make [his] name great among the nations” (Malachi 1:11). In short, this book is about the Big Story of God and seeing our stories in light of his story.

Four years ago, when I received that email, things changed for me: the glory of God in his mission to love more and more people softened my heart and opened my eyes. As you read this book, Jason and I pray that it’ll do the same for you.

* Click here to read the Table of Contents.

[Picture by Jared Erondu / Unsplash]

ROOTED by J.A. Medders and Brandon D. Smith (FAN AND FLAME Book Reviews)

J.A. Medders and Brandon D. Smith. Rooted: Theology for Growing Christians. Rainer Publishing, 2016. 148 pp. $10.97.

“Here’s the thing,” she said, “I don’t think God wants us to stress about this.”

That’s a comment I overheard at a recent dinner party. Several Christians were talking about God, specifically one of his attributes.

When taken literally, yes, I agree. Let’s not stress; let’s not have our blood pressures increase because the finite can’t fully comprehend the infinite. This wasn’t what bothered me, though. It was the dismissive tone with which the comment was made, as though she was really saying, “Why bother with this theology stuff.”

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Why bother? We bother because God has revealed himself with the intention that we, his children, would know him clearly—not exhaustively, of course, but clearly. The prophet Hosea, despite their frequent and severe failures, emphatically encouraged God’s people to bend their lives so that they might know God better. “Let us know,” he said, “let us press on to know the Lord” (Hosea 6:3).

Authors J.A. Medders and Brandon D. Smith wrote Rooted: Theology for Growing Christians to help us do this very thing: to know the Lord. Additionally, what they argue so well throughout the book, as does Russell Moore in his foreword, is that knowledge about God is for the purpose of living. This is why the subtitle is, “theology for growing Christians.” Theology is the water and the sunlight that makes acorns become oak trees.

Rooted is not a long book; it’s only 148 pages. In it, Medders and Smith cover four aspects of theology: the Trinitarian nature of God; the words of God; sin and the gospel; and the church and the future. Obviously, we could fill bookshelves, maybe even small libraries, with books on each of these topics. But the enormity of these topics and the abundance of resources about them does not negate the need for fresh exploration, especially for those unfamiliar with the terrain. This is why we are using it in our church’s High School small groups. But it would be great for a new Christian of any age or even for an older Christian who, for whatever reason, never progressed in his or her theological training. The authors’ use of punchy metaphors make it all very accessible. For example, this one about Jesus’s humanity:

Jesus isn’t some kind of watered-down version of God. He isn’t the pre-algebra standard of Godness. Jesus is full on, high-octane God. (43)

I suppose some might object to this sentence, calling it “imprecise language.” What does “high-octane God” actually mean? This way of speaking, however, when it grows out of the Bible—which it certainly does for Medders and Smith—might communicate better and with more force than using only the expected theological propositions.

It’s writing like this that causes old truths to be heard afresh. I think that’s one reason the authors of Scripture did this so frequently. Just to give you one example, consider Romans 13:11–13, “The hour has come for you to wake from sleep. . . . The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness . . . . Let us walk properly as in the daytime.” Here, Paul uses the metaphors of ‘sleeping and waking’ and ‘light and darkness’ to stress the urgency of following Jesus. The alarm clock is ringing, people! Wake up and follow Jesus!

I should mention that a few times, at least for me, the conversational tone and metaphors fall just a bit short (e.g., “an atomic bomb of grace,” [77]). But regardless, their attempt to pair fresh language with sturdy, biblical theology is one of the most enjoyable aspects of the book.

We’ve had Rooted in our church bookstore for several months, and I’ll be happy every time we have to restock the shelf with more copies.

*     *     *

A Few Favorite Quotes

We are all theologians. While there are a select few on planet earth who get paid to be theologians, the truth is that all humans are in some respects a theologian—we all have thoughts of God, and they are either right or wrong. Theology is all about God: all God is, all he has done, all he does, and all he will do . . . Theology isn’t simply for the mind—it’s for life. (22–23).

Theology is a map for us sojourners. (24)

Jesus is the Truth (John 14:6); he is theology in the flesh, theology with ten fingers and ten toes. (25)

Typing a question and finding an answer is as easy as opening an app on a cell phone. Many difficult questions about theology can be found in the same way, however God is more than a search result. A person can’t ultimately “Google” him. (46)

To Jesus, the Old Testament isn’t filled with cute fairytales and fables—it’s filled with truth. It’s interesting to notice that one of Jesus’s common rebukes goes something like this: “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” It’s so obvious that God spoke through the Scriptures that he wonders aloud if doubters had read it at all.” (73)

Jesus hung on the cross, not as some kind of motivational poster, but as a Savior who was literally paying for our sins and giving us his righteousness, his perfect standing with God the Father. (107)

Since Jesus breathes, death is like a housefly to the saints. It’s annoying, but it cannot ruin the Christian. (110)

Christ conquered death on its home court. (120)

Related Post

J.A. Medders also hosts the podcast, Home Row, which I love and wrote about here.

[Picture by Matthew Smith / Unsplash]

The Bee Keeps Stinging Joel Osteen

Once upon a time, a true prophet of God issued a challenge to several false prophets (1 Kings 18:20–40). It was a contest to see whose God/god would answer when He/he was called.

I won’t go into the specifics, but let’s just say that as the competition was underway, the false prophets were struggling. They prayed but received no answer. They danced and sang, but still no answer. They even started cutting themselves. It didn’t work either.

While all of this was going on, what did the prophet of God do?

He mocked them, and he mocked their god. He called out, “Hey, maybe your god is sleeping ’cuz he doesn’t seem to be answering!”

Then, later, the prophet added this zinger: “Maybe your god is using the bathroom and, you know, kinda busy. Just saying.”

On the surface, these insults seem vindictive, especially in our age of supposed tolerance. They were not, however. They were invitations to repent. They were invitations to leave behind the folly of falsehood. They were an invitation to embrace the real thing, the real God.

For most of us, it wouldn’t be right to attempt to replicate this type of ministry. The “sanctified insult” is a delicate art, and the prophet Elijah was, as it states in the fine print on car commercials, “a professional driver on a closed course.” Sarcasm doesn’t play a prominent role in my ministry, and it never will. Moreover, I’d question anyone who uses it exclusively.

With that said, however, I do think it has a legitimate place. To some, this probably sounds very “unchristian.” Perhaps. But consider that it was Jesus, among all the figures in the Bible, who was best at needling his opponents. You’re the blind leading the blind; you’ll both fall into a pit. And you think you’re so righteous because you strain a gnat from what you drink, but you only do so to swallow a camel. Oh, and you should probably take that 2x4 out of your eye before you do eye surgery on someone else. These are just a few.

The rightful place of sarcasm is to push a certain worldview to its extreme, to its ultimate conclusions. It’s there, at the endgame of a false worldview, that you can see how flimsy and shallow it really is. And few places I know are doing this as well as The Babylon Bee.

The Babylon Bee is the evangelical Christian’s version of The Onion. The tagline for The Babylon Bee is, “your trusted source for Christian news satire.” In other words, nothing is true; it’s all madeup.

One of the areas that The Babylon Bee is at its best, is when it’s stinging prosperity theologians, especially Joel Osteen. Every time there is a new article about him, friends who know I have an interest in this topic send it to me. When I reviewed Osteen’s first book, Your Best Life Now, I intentionally did so without sarcasm. In that particular review, I didn’t want anything to distract readers from the central, gospel issues. But having been thinking about prosperity theology for some time, I’ll tell you that, in my opinion, when The Babylon Bee writes about Osteen, they do it really well.  

Below are three of my favorite Babylon Bee posts about Joel Osteen. I’ve included the title of the article, as well as a line or two from each. Also, at the bottom, I’ve included a few other articles more generally about prosperity theology that deserve the title “honorable mentions.”

I hope you laugh at these articles and also shake your head in sadness. Remember, the point of the sarcasm is to push prosperity theology to its logical conclusions. It’s here, at these conclusions, that prosperity theology can be seen for what it really is: ridiculous and evil. Therefore—just like Elijah’s words to the prophets of Baal—these articles, while funny, are also invitations to repent. I’m sure it hurts to be stung by The Bee, but better to be stung and learn from your errors than to perish forever in Hell.

Joel Osteen Apologizes For Using Lord’s Name In Sermon
August 29, 2016

HOUSTON, TX—Calling the incident “an unfortunate choice of words” and “a momentary lapse in judgment,” pastor Joel Osteen issued a public apology Monday morning for using the Lord’s name in his Sunday morning sermon. . . 

I Really Need You To Get With The Program, Third-World Orphans
August 11, 2016

I really don’t like using harsh words with people. I much prefer speaking words of positivity and declaring victory over the little challenges that life throws my way. 

But I have to get real for a second. 

All you orphaned, sick, poor, and hungry people out there in those icky third-world nations: I really need you to just get with the program. . . 

Joel Osteen Googles ‘What Is A Trinity’
June 14, 2016

HOUSTON, TX—After stumbling upon a lively debate on Twitter Tuesday afternoon regarding the Eternal Functional Submission of the Son within the Trinity, Joel Osteen, Senior Pastor of Lakewood Church, curiously opened a new tab and googled “what is a trinity,” sources confirmed.

“Victoria, have you seen this discussion online about this Trinity?” Osteen reportedly called to his wife, informing her that he was googling the term after she replied that she had “no earthly idea” what he was talking about. . . 

Honorable Mentions

Humanitarian Organization Drops Crates Of Prosperity Gospel Books Into Ethiopia

Benny Hinn Miraculously Removes Lump From Woman’s Purse

I Honestly Can Not Believe I’m Still Getting Away With This, op-ed by Benny Hinn

Creflo Dollar Takes Brief, Quiet Moment To Stop And Smell Last Sunday’s Haul

[Photo @JoelOsteen]

More People to Love, Table of Contents

Later this fall, Jason Abbott (my co-pastor) and I are launching a book. It’s called, More People to Love: How the Bible Starts in a Garden and Ends in a City and What That Means for You. I’m really excited about it.

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More People to Love is a book about The Big Story of the Bible. It’s about God’s plan, as revealed from Genesis to Revelation, to “make [his] name great among the nations” (Malachi 1:11). At times, our lives can be very difficult. But seeing our lives in light of The Big Story—the beautiful story of God’s unfolding plan of redemption—gives us the perspective we need to carry on with purpose and joy.

Brant Hansen wrote the foreword. He’s a nationally syndicated Christian radio host and author of Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better. I just read a draft of his foreword. Here’s a few quotes from it:

Growing up in country churches, I’d sing along with songs about heaven. And they all evoked the countryside. “I want a mansion, just over the hilltop . . .” and “Just give me a little cabin, in the corner of Gloryland . . .”

Of course Heaven would be rural. It’s obvious. And Hell? Well, I’m just saying it’s overcrowded. Probably has a subway. So draw your own conclusions. . . .

I still love small towns, and still yearn for the familiar. But God has changed my heart on this one. Like Jason and Benjamin point out in this book, Heaven is going to be a city. The old hymns steered me wrong on this one.

I can’t wait to share the whole thing with you.

How Can You Help?

Would you like to help us with the project? In a few weeks, I’ll say more about this. For now, I’ll just mention two ways.

First, we’ll need a dozen or so “beta readers”—people to read and comment on the manuscript before it’s published.

Second, we’ll also need people (hopefully quite a few people!) to promote the book on social media.

If you want to help with either of these, please send me an email (benjamin@fanandflame.com or click here).

The book launch won't be until sometime in December, but below is a sneak peak at the table of contents.

*   *   *

CONTENTS

Foreword, Brant Hansen

Preface, Benjamin Vrbicek

1 | A Man into a Multitude, Jason Abbott, Genesis 1–12

2 | Letter to Exiles, Benjamin Vrbicek, Jeremiah 29:1–14

3 | A Stunning Victory, Jason Abbott, Matthew 4:1–11

4 | The Good Shepherd, Benjamin Vrbicek, John 10:1–16

5 | Not Too Light a Thing, Jason Abbott, Acts 10:1–8

6 | The Death that Killed Hostility, Benjamin Vrbicek, Ephesians 2:11–22

7 | The New Harrisburg, Jason Abbott, Revelation 21:22–27

Epilogue, Benjamin Vrbicek

Notes

[Picture by Anthony Delanoix / Unsplash]

Does Everyone Know Your Theological Hobby Horse?

Recently a friend at church (I’ll call him Jeremiah) asked my views, and the views of our church, regarding God’s sovereignty and salvation. Specifically, he wanted to know how strongly Reformed theology influences my preaching. Because I thought our exchange might help others, I asked and received permission to post an edited version of our correspondence.

[Disclaimer: this post uses a few technical terms and presumes some working knowledge of the issues (things like election, predestination, and free will). If you’d like a primer on Reformed theology, John Piper taught a helpful 9-part video series here and Tony Reinke wrote an excellent book called, The Joy Project.]

*   *   *

Pastor Benjamin,

I am interested in becoming more involved at church, and I was looking over the membership book. In that regard, I wonder if you could answer a few questions for me.

In reviewing your church’s membership book, Each Part Working Properly, there was a section devoted to the beliefs of the Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA), which I am in agreement with. Actually, my only questions revolve around the portion of your book regarding Reformed theology.

It is my understanding that, within the framework of the EFCA, churches have the freedom to express their faith differently as long as they are in line with the main EFCA Statement of Faith.

I suppose an example is the one that you provided in the book about the church that baptized infants. As you say, this would certainly not be the habit of most EFCA churches, but it is not beyond the limits of the Statement of Faith, and thus it is acceptable.

So my questions are . . .

1. How would you handle preaching through certain sections of the Bible, say, one from the book of Romans? Would you explain different views of the passage or only the Reformed view? This is what was done in one E-Free church I attended.
   

2. Are Sunday School groups and other groups taught from a Reformed perspective?
   

3. I guess this last question is more like a summary of the others. Is the “official” view of our church regarding teaching, preaching, etc. a Reformed view?

I think finding a church home is a lot like finding someone to date and subsequently marry. You have to get to know the person/church as you move forward in the relationship.

Hope you can help me out in that process.

Thanks,
Jeremiah

*   *   *

Jeremiah,

Great questions. You’re doing exactly what I would hope people would do: investigating a local church in a thoughtful way. In fact, this is why we wrote that book. We want people to be able to consider the theology of a church before committing.

As for Reformed theology, lots could be said. I’ll try just to mention a few things. Feel free to follow up by email . . . or maybe, if you’re buying, we’ll make another trip to Starbucks.

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Normally, when people ask me about Reformed theology, I don’t like to answer until we first have gained a shared understanding of what Reformed theology is (and is not). Often, I find people are not talking about, shall we say, apples and apples. For our sake, I’ll just assume we are talking about the same thing.

First, your understanding of the Evangelical Free Church of America is correct; as a denomination, the issue of Reformed theology is not decided. Rather, the decision is left up to local churches. But even here (in local churches), sometimes the leadership might not be in agreement. If you ask me, I think this is a strength of the EFCA. It gives Christians a chance to have not mere uniformity but true unity.

When we published the book Each Part Working Properly, it was the first time in our church’s history that we formally declared the position of our pastor-elders on this issue. We did this so that potential members could understand where we stand today and where we likely will be in the foreseeable future. In this way, the book is like a weather forecast, though hopefully more reliable!

I’m not sure what percentage of EFCA churches consider themselves Reformed on areas of salvation. A recent study of the theology of the senior pastors in our denomination reported that, on issues of salvation, 38% favor a “Calvinist/Reformed” view, while 35% favor an “Arminian/Wesleyan” view (and 28% did not specify a leaning). It’s interesting that regarding a person losing their salvation, the results were far more one-sided: 94% affirm that someone regenerated by the Holy Spirit cannot lose his or her salvation. My view of things certainly falls in this majority.

It’s worth pointing out, though, that even if a senior pastor is Reformed (or Arminian), there will certainly be many people in his church (maybe even some on the church staff and elder board), who see things differently. That’s not the case on our church fulltime staff and elder board, but it wouldn’t be uncommon in other EFCA churches.

With respect to preaching, I think a good preacher can (and should!) be able to do a whole lot of preaching without people knowing exactly what he thinks about these issues. Don’t hear me wrong. I’m not saying preaching should be deceptive (cf. 2 Corinthians 4:2). I am saying the Bible doesn’t exist to exalt Reformed theology (or Arminian theology) but rather the gospel of God.

In light of that, I also think that over time, what a preacher believes about these issues must inevitably seep into his sermons. Most of the time this will be subtle, but other times it will necessarily be overt. This is a good thing. These issues matter. In my opinion, much of the pleasure a Christian gets in God flows from his or her view of how salvation takes place.

You asked about Romans. If we were preaching through Romans, which we hope to do someday, the issues of election, predestination, free will, and God’s sovereignty would certainly come up. They can come up naturally while preaching through most books of the Bible, though—maybe every book. For example, as we are finishing 1 Samuel this summer, I could see myself saying something like,

It doesn’t seem that King Saul “lost his salvation” but rather that he was never converted.

Now, you’ll be aware that a statement like this is informed by my view of God’s sovereignty in salvation, specifically the Reformed understanding of the perseverance of the saints. I’m not sure if many, or even most, in our church would notice this connection. I’m sure that some would, but whether or not they noticed, my aim would be to explain the passage in such a way that this conclusion is actually shown to be in the text of 1 Samuel—not merely an abstraction from my broader theology.

I’m probably not the best one to evaluate my preaching (I’m too biased!), but my sentiments here reflect what I’m aiming for. I know you’ve been attending for a while. How do you think we’re doing on this issue? I would respect and greatly value your opinion.

In Sunday school, however, there is more opportunity, even a responsibility, to share differing opinions about secondary issues (e.g. creation, end-times, spiritual gifts). In fact, in our adult Sunday school last fall, I taught on the atonement while we were working through Wayne Grudem’s book, Systematic Theology. When I taught, I was sure to present the differing views, both Limited and Unlimited Atonement. In the end, however, I did share which view I hold and why I hold it.

We’d be very open to someone with Arminian theology teaching in Sunday school or a small group, though we would expect a similar approach from him: fairness to both views.

With respect to membership, we never bring this issue up with people in the membership interviews . . . unless of course they want us to! At Community Free Church, we are delighted to have any and all Christians join who have a credible profession of faith, who are excited about this particular church, and who agree with the EFCA Statement of Faith.

Is this helpful? What other questions do you have?

Thanks for emailing,
Benjamin

[Picture by Denys Nevozhai / Unsplash]

Why We Sing What We Sing, Part II of II

Last week, Ben Bechtel, the director of music and youth at Community Evangelical Free Church, shared Part I of how he chooses worship songs for our church, which you can read here.

Below is the second half of his post.

*     *     *

Why We Sing What We Sing, Part II of II
By Ben Bechtel

6. Diversity

At our church, we desire to have a repertoire of songs that give voice to the full range of human emotion and experience, and simultaneously honor all the aspects of God and His work in the world. We don’t want all of our songs to focus on the love of God or the grace of God, although those are central characteristics of God. We don’t want all of our songs to be happy in tone, although we should rejoice for what God has done in Christ.

There are certain topics or emotions not commonly evoked in modern worship music. Thus, as we add new music to our library, whether a new song or an old song rediscovered, we want to have an eye on enriching and diversifying the various songs we sing. 

Good Example: “Speak O Lord” by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend (Spotify, YouTube). This song blew me away the first time I heard it. It is a prayer asking for God to speak to His people through His Word. The content of this song, coupled with its emotional and prayerful tone, makes it a heavyweight. As far as I am aware, there truly is no other song like it.

Bad Example: Adding a mediocre new song about God’s love when we have a plethora of incredibly written songs about the love of God.

P.S. This is where the Psalms and particularly poetic songs come in handy. The Psalms contain poems of joy, praise, sadness, lament, despair, longing, fear, and all human emotions by people seeking to love God in all of life. Whether read or sung, this book is invaluable to our corporate worship because it puts inspired words in our mouth to pray and sing to God in all times of life. As well, poetic songs have a tendency to say old things in fresh, vivid ways. For instance, we recently played the old hymn “The Love of God”, which contains beautiful, poetic language describing God’s love. Consider this stanza:

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky

This song, and songs like it, has a way of stirring the affections towards characteristics of God that may have become stale to us because the ordinary way of speaking about them sounds, well, ordinary.

7. Past and Present

I believe there is a great need in worship music to have balance between old and new songs. This is not motivated by a desire to please young people with contemporary music and elderly people with hymns.

In the midst of a modern worship culture, we need to remember that the music we sing, and the church for that matter, didn’t start 20 years ago when Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman stepped on the scene (although we owe a great deal to them!). Ever since creation, God has placed songs of praise in the mouths of his people. Singing lines from the Psalter and old hymns that date back to the Reformation, and even before, reminds us of the rich tradition we have as the people of God and helps keep us connected to the history of Christianity.

Good Example: For our church, a good example of this is when our set on a given Sunday contains both contextualized hymns and contemporary songs. Our goal is to have both in every service.

Bad Example: I think the worst example for us would be a one-dimensional service where we play either all contemporary songs or all hymns.  

8. Symmetry with Sermon Themes

One thing we stress very heavily in planning the liturgy is that our songs and Scripture readings should accentuate the content and themes of the sermon. Hearing from God’s word is the most important part of the weekly gathering. Therefore, we believe that the songs we sing should help to highlight that endeavor.

A carefully crafted worship service with the same biblical themes brought out in all its various aspects allows us not only to hear truths about God but also to praise him for those truths. Thematic song selection drives the Word of God deeper into the hearts of the people we are leading in worship and produces a greater joy and gladness in God as a result.

Good Example: A service that centers all the elements of the liturgy on several themes from the passage being expounded. For example, our church just recently went through a short series on the book of Titus. The first sermon of the series was on Paul’s greeting to Titus at the beginning of the letter. Although there are numerous themes brought out in this letter, we sang songs such as “Christ is Risen” by Matt Maher (Spotify, YouTube) and “How Great Thou Art” (Spotify, YouTube) to capture the themes of resurrection life and the greatness of God and His plans. Then, immediately before the sermon, we sang the song “Grace and Peace” by Sovereign Grace (Spotify, YouTube) which explicitly picks up on the “grace and peace” greeting from many of Paul’s letters and expounds it. This is just one small example of how we structure the service at our church to bring out sermon themes.

Bad Example: There are two errors of which to beware. The obvious error is to pay no attention to sermon theme when selecting music. However, another error is to try to select every song around one specific theme in the passage. For instance, if the sermon is on God’s faithfulness, you don’t need to sing five songs on God’s faithfulness (although I’m sure you could!). Rather, a better approach would be strategically placing two or three songs that highlight God’s faithfulness while interspersing a few other songs that highlight other themes in the passage or that simply complement the songs about the specific theme.

9. Reflects and Projects

The songs that we sing, much like the sermons we preach, need to reflect the DNA of a church. As well, the songs that we sing should forecast and project where we want to be and where we are headed.

In selecting songs, it is important to know which songs have been particularly impactful in the past. There are certain songs that a church holds dear because of a specific time in the life of the church, and that is great! Songs have a way of defining communities, and I believe this should be celebrated and encouraged with good Gospel-centered “regulars” in the song catalogs of a church.

I also think that, just like preaching, singing needs to address issues that will arise among the congregation in the future. In selecting songs, it is important to be mindful of the vision the elders have for the future of the church. The hope in doing this is that the songs along with the preaching can forge a pathway for the future of the church by the Spirit of God.

Good Example: Currently our church is seeking to plant a church as well as grow in certain key areas. As I am selecting music, I need to keep an eye on choosing songs that address what we hope to be as the people of God in our local context moving forward while still maintaining who we are currently.

Bad Example: Selecting songs without careful attention to the people in the congregation and the leadership of the church.

10. Best of the Best

Finally, if a song meets all of these criteria, I want to ask, is this song great? Will this be a song worth singing for the next ten years? With the abundance of worship music being written in our day, it is important to be selective. We want to sing only the best of what’s out there. There are only so many songs you can introduce without overwhelming people. Ultimately, I want to introduce the best songs, both musically and lyrically, with the goal of helping the people of the church glorify God through musical worship.

[To read Part I, click here.]

BEN BECHTEL is the director of music and youth ministries at Community Evangelical Free Church in Harrisburg, PA. Ben earned a bachelor’s degree in biblical studies from Liberty University where he met his wife Whitley. In the spring of 2017, he will begin a masters of divinity program. You can follow him on Twitter.

[Picture by William Iven / Unsplash]

Why We Sing What We Sing, Part I of II

For the last year, Ben Bechtel has been the director of music at our church (Community Evangelical Free Church in Harrisburg, PA). Recently, he put together a “map” to help our church choose worship songs. I thought it was so helpful, that I asked him if he would let me share it on my blog. Hope you like it too.

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Why We Sing What We Sing, Part I of II
By Ben Bechtel

Selecting what songs to sing on Sunday morning is a lot like walking through a wooded forest with tons of different trails—while a crowd of people shouts at you which path they think you should take. [1]

Christians ought to love music and be passionate about the songs we sing on Sunday mornings. But we don’t all agree on what makes for a good song. Some want fast songs; others want slow songs. Some want hymns; others want the songs played on Christian radio. Still others want “hipster worship songs,” songs you’ve probably never even heard of.

It doesn’t take long to get lost in this massive maze of musical possibility.

Let’s look at it by the numbers. If you sing five songs per week, that is around 260 songs per year. Now consider that many of those songs are repeated. This leaves only 75-125 unique songs. This may sound like a lot of variety but consider the thousands of songs that have been written over the history of the church. As a director of music in a local church, this feels overwhelming.

To find a way forward, I knew I needed to create a map to help navigate this maze. The following is my attempt to sketch this map. I’ve drawn it for my particular local church but I hope you’ll find it helpful too . . . even if, in the end, you choose more hymns or hipster songs than we do.

1. Gospel-Centered and God-Centered

We sing songs on Sunday morning to ascribe glory and honor to God. Our primary factor for determining a song to sing is whether or not it focuses on God and His action in history to redeem sinners. They should be songs inspired by and based on the Word of God, which always presents God in his rightful place—the main character of the biblical story and our lives.

Songs that have their primary focus on what we are going to do for God or those mainly about human feelings, are not helpful because they have a tendency to take our focus off God and place the focus on us.

The kinds of songs we want to sing in corporate worship, are those that primarily have a Godward focus, emphasizing who He is and what He has done.

Good Example: “Before the Throne of God Above” by Vikki Cook (Spotify, YouTube). This song is filled with gospel-rich content that talks about how Jesus, as our great high priest, makes intercession for us before the Father.[2]

Bad Example: “One Thing” by Hillsong (Spotify, YouTube). When I listen to this song, I love the first verse. It is a confession of how all things other than God fail to satisfy our desires. Amen! And yet I think the rest of the song focuses more on us in terms of our actions of obedience and desire for God instead of shifting our attention from our sin and idolatry to what God has done for us in the Gospel. I don’t think this song is necessarily wrong, but I do think the focus is misplaced.

2. Theological Accuracy

We desire to sing songs that accurately speak about God as He has revealed Himself in His Word. Just like we would not value a biography of Abraham Lincoln that contained details about him that weren’t true, so we do not value songs that do not speak accurately about our God as He has revealed Himself in the Bible.

This point does not come from a desire to dictate which songs are in our specific “theological tribe” and which aren’t. Rather, it’s an attempt to help our local congregation think about which artists—from a theological perspective—are making the most helpful music.

Good Example: “When My Heart Is Torn Asunder” by Phil Wickham (Spotify, YouTube) . This song addresses an issue that is not normally sung about in worship music (suffering), and it does so with language and truths drawn from the Bible. It’s a great example of a modern song written with theological accuracy about a hard topic, all the while being done in a contextual and relevant way.

Bad Example: “Great I Am” by Jared Anderson (Spotify, YouTube). Although there are certain aspects of this song that I like a lot, I think there is a certain line that makes it unusable for congregational singing. The first two lines of the song read, “I want to be close, close to your side / so heaven is real and death is a lie.”

At best, this line is just imprecise and careless, but at worst, it undermines the work of Jesus. Death is not a lie. Death is incredibly real. It’s so much a part of reality in this fallen world that God the Father sent his Son to come and die a terrible death to reverse the curse of death.

P.S. I’m not advocating theological nitpicking, but I am saying that we must be sure that what we are singing lines up with the truth about God.  

3. Theological Clarity

The phrase “theological clarity” simply means that the song not only doesn’t teach heresy, but it goes a step further in that the song must also be theologically precise. Songs that talk about concepts of God in vague, unclear, and clichéd categories are unhelpful to corporate worship.

We want our songs to be filled with truth about God that is presented in a fresh and creative manner, but not at the sacrifice of theological clarity and coherence.

Good Example: “Rejoice” by The Modern Post (Spotify, YouTube). This song talks about many biblical-theological themes such as adoption, reconciliation, suffering, and holiness—all with precise and creative language.

Bad Example: “Holy Spirit” by Bryan and Katie Torwalt (Spotify, YouTube). This song is wildly popular right now and is one of the five most commonly used songs on CCLI.[3] However, this song is a prominent example of how theological ambiguity is unhelpful.

The song talks a lot about the Holy Spirit and His presence. Although the song doesn’t come out and say it, it assumes two big things. First, this song assumes that the Holy Spirit’s presence is manifested most in times of corporate worship (singing). Second, it assumes that the way His presence is manifested is through a subjective feeling.

In a song titled Holy Spirit, you would expect to hear some clear thoughts about the Holy Spirit. Instead, there is only a plea for the Holy Spirit to come and fill a space where corporate singing is taking place.

In its ambiguity, this song teaches that the main way we experience the presence of the Spirit is in singing corporately. The Bible, however, teaches that the Holy Spirit is with us always—not only in the corporate gathering of believers. He is with us—empowering us to be His people—in the mundane, every day stuff of life. He is with us at 3:00 PM during our workday just as much as on Sunday morning at 10:00 AM. Due to its lack of clarity, this song subliminally teaches a theology of the Holy Spirit that is problematic.

4. Sing-ability

We should not just be selective about the lyrical content of the songs we sing as a congregation but also the music itself. There are few things more distracting from the worship of God in a time of singing than a melody that is overly complex and difficult to sing. The only thing more distracting would be a two-minute Van Halen-esque guitar solo in the middle of a song.

Congregational singing is not a concert or a recital. We take great care to select songs that are able to be sung and followed by all.

Good Examples: “No Longer Slaves” by Bethel Music (Spotify, YouTube) and “This Is Amazing Grace” by Phil Wickham (Spotify, YouTube). Both of these songs have anthem-like melodies that lend themselves very easily to congregational singing. These songs don’t have huge interval jumps or cover multiple octaves. They both have simple, singable, and memorable melodies.

Bad Example: “The Power of the Cross” by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend (Spotify, YouTube). While the lyrical content of this song is spot on and helpful, the melody of the song itself drags it down. The musical intervals of the melody are hard to follow and jump around a lot. This song, although it teaches great theology, is not easy to sing and, thus, isn’t a good fit for congregational singing in our particular church.

5. Coherence

We desire that the songs we sing in corporate worship center around one or several main themes and have lyrics that develop and build upon these themes. We do not want to sing songs that are filled with random, generic Christian lingo. Rather, we want to sing songs that flesh out themes from the biblical text in a cohesive yet creative fashion and display them to the church.

Good Example: “Behold Our God” by Sovereign Grace Music (Spotify, YouTube). This is a wonderful song about God as Lord over all creation. The song builds by asking questions of man framed by biblical passages, designed to focus our attention on God as King and covenant Lord over all His creation including ourselves. It then builds to a climax in verse 3 where it speaks of Jesus being God the Lord incarnate who has died, risen, and ascended into heaven where He now sits on His throne. This is one of the best modern examples of beautifully, logically, and coherently building the lyrics of a song.

Bad Example: “You Make Me Brave” by Bethel Music (Spotify, YouTube). When you read the title and hear the bridge of this song, which is the main tagline, it seems as if the main theme of this song is that God casts out fear. Great! That is 100% true.

However, as you listen to the rest of the song, it seems like a random assortment of clichéd phrases bundled together that do not build up to that conclusion. There are neither specific lyrics that lead us to the conclusion that God makes us brave nor any lyrics that explain why we have nothing to fear in life or death. Rather, there are overdone ocean/water imagery and stream of consciousness-like statements about God’s love.

 Next week, we’ll post #6-10 in Part II of “Why We Sing What We Sing.”

 Footnotes

1. Much of this content was inspired by Zac Hicks’s article, “How I choose Songs for Corporate Worship.” I’m borrowing from his ideas and applying it to my church context.
2. This idea of good and bad examples also comes from Hicks’s article.
3. Christian Copyright Licensing International, as of April 2016.

BEN BECHTEL is the director of music and youth ministries at Community Evangelical Free Church in Harrisburg, PA. Ben earned a bachelor’s degree in biblical studies from Liberty University where he met his wife Whitley. In the spring of 2017, he will begin a masters of divinity program. You can follow him on Twitter.

[Picture by William Iven / Unsplash]

9 Tips for Speaking at a Retreat

Please forgive the self-serving nature of this post. I know most of my readers have neither spoken at a church retreat nor will they ever. This last weekend, I only did so for the first time. My former church asked me to speak at their men’s retreat. It was a long but wonderful weekend.

Because this was my first, during the weeks leading up to the retreat I asked some friends who have spoken at retreats for advice. Here are nine of the best tips I received.

1. Speak to your audience.

I put stress on the word “your” because it may or may not be the same demographics that you’re used to, say, your local church. Therefore, as much as possible, determine who is the “typical attendee.” The host of the event should be able to help you figure out things like age, marital status, and education. It makes a difference if those who attend are largely young professionals or retired blue-collar workers. Also, ask about the level of Christian maturity. Are they mostly people who are, to use the words in 1 John, fathers in the faith or young children? There will always be outliers, but knowing the core audience will help you tailor the applications and illustrations.

2. Listen to the church’s sermons.

Listening to sermons gives a sense of the type of teaching they are regularly exposed to. As you listen, note things such as length (short or long), style (formal/declarative or informal/conversational), and focus (topical or expository). It seems to me that for a retreat speaker to be successful, he can be different from the typical diet of preaching, but he can’t be too different. Sudden changes in diet tend to cause discomfort. For my retreat, I listened to around 15 messages, which wasn’t too hard because I did it on my morning bike rides in the weeks leading up to the retreat.

3. Go deep in the Bible.

A retreat is a unique time. There is space for things you can’t do in other contexts. The attendees of a local church are often transient. This makes it hard to build from week to week; as soon as you make some progress, you have to start over again for those who missed last week’s message. But at a retreat, people aren’t going anywhere. They all heard your last message, which by the way, was only a few hours ago. Therefore, use each of your talks like basecamps up some Bible “mountain.” When you finally summit, both you and they will feel like something worthwhile was accomplished.

3. “Low tech” is better than “high tech.”

Technology is a great thing, but in the context of a retreat, I find excessive technology distracting. I have a philosophical reason for this and a practical one. First, the philosophical reason. People at the retreat are there to connect with others and with God. It’s a time away from the ordinary demands of life; it is, after all, called a retreat. And in a world that is constantly noisy, both audibly and visually, one bonus gift that you can give to your listeners is a technology Sabbath. On the practical side, I’ll add that retreats often take place at “offsite” locations, which means the exact setup is often unknown. Will they have the proper adapter for your laptop? And what if the Wi-Fi goes down and you can’t show that clip that was so important to your second message? It’s better to print handouts if you must have visuals.

4. Join the retreat; don’t just speak at it.

This means that you’ll need to have your messages completed beforehand. Sure, you might want to read over them before each session, but don’t plan to write them. And if it comes down to a choice between a more polished message and tossing the football with the guys, choose fellowship every time.

5. Model transparency.

The stated reason for why people joined the retreat will vary. Some came simply because a friend asked them, while others needed a vacation. And still others, though less than you might expect, came because they were excited about the topic of the retreat. But behind all the reasons, surely those who are leading the event desire that each person will do business with God. You, as the speaker, must set the tone for this. A shiny, sparkly speaker will make for superficial conversations. The audience will be able to tell if all your applications are just “for them” not “for us.” In short, teach the Word as one who is also under the Word.

6. Make it about one thing.

We all tend to compartmentalize. And if a speaker tries to cover 12 topics, listeners will shut down, like a computer running too many functions. Precision and depth on one theme will produce more change than greater coverage. In this way, it’s best to see each of the retreat messages as a larger version of a sermon; good sermons can have two points or they can have ten, but regardless, to be an effective sermon, it must be about one thing. Whatever point you’re making at the retreat, make it again and again. If you sing one song—albeit sometimes with different harmonies—they’ll remember the tune.

8. Include stories and movie clips.

People love stories. I think this is why so much of the Bible is narrative. Indeed, most of Jesus’s public ministry consisted of telling them. And even the parts of the Bible that are didactic, say the Prophets or the Epistles, these fit into a larger historical narrative, the story of redemptive history. At my retreat, I didn’t show any movie clips because of the technology involved (see #3 above), but also because it’s just what I do in my normal context (see #9 below). Still, I tried to tell a few yarns.

9. Above all, be yourself.

Finally, they didn’t hire John Piper or Matt Chandler to speak; they hired you. If you try to be like “so-and-so,” you’ll exhaust yourself and your hearers. Know what you do well and do that.

* The content for my retreat is here.

[Picture by Pexels]

Home Row: Christian Writers on Writing

As with books, the number of podcasts abounds. There’s no point in even trying to listen to everything; we have to be selective.

If this blog post reads like an advertisement, I’m sorry, but I must tell you that my current favorite writing podcast is Home Row (iTunes, Soundcloud). It’s a podcast for “writers on writing” hosted by J.A. Medders.

Medders is a pastor in Texas at Redeemer Church. He’s also the author of Gospel Formed: Living a Grace-Addicted, Truth-Filled, Jesus-Exalting Life, and co-author of Rooted: Theology for Growing Christians. He blogs at jamedders.com. You can follow him on Twitter.

One of the things I love about the interviews is the way Medders gives listeners a “backstage pass” to how the writing process happens for different authors. Writing is a solitary task; I know how I do it, but how does so-and-so create a blog post, or balance family and writing, or keep his heart passionate and undistracted? These very practical questions get discussed on Home Row.

I also found it interesting how—across all six episodes—many of the same authors and writing books were mentioned. Maybe only one show went by where Lewis or Chesterton weren’t mentioned, or the books Wordsmithy by Doug Wilson (the guest of Episode 6,) and On Writing by Stephen King.

My favorite part, however, is the closing 5-10 minutes of each interview. Here, Medders focuses his questions on advice to aspiring writers, and it’s here that my soul soars, like my “inner-writer” is on a zip line down Everest.

Below are some of my favorite quotes from each episode. If you like what you read, be sure to subscribe to Home Row (iTunes, Soundcloud).

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Jared Wilson, Episode 1

Wilson is the author of many books. His most recent is Unparalleled: How Christianity’s Uniqueness Makes It Compelling. He was a local church pastor for twenty years, his blog, Gospel-Driven Church, is hosted on The Gospel Coalition’s website, and he now works for Midwestern Baptist Seminary and manages the website For The Church.

The other thing [to consider], especially for young, up-and-coming writers . . . [is the way our celebrity culture] short-circuits [their] the ability to think about having to “pay their dues,” having to put the work in. So I meet a lot of young guys (usually it’s young men) who almost want to be published more than they want to write; they want the short-track to having the book deal.

And it’s great when that can happen, and I certainly wish that I could have gotten a book deal on my first book, but usually you just have to put time in. You need to grow some. You need to become more mature. And do work and stick with it . . . I tell the aspiring writer to not shrink back from having to write a few books maybe before you have one that is published.

Tony Reinke, Episode 2

Reinke works for Desiring God. He’s the co-host of the popular “Ask Pastor John” podcast, and the author of several books, including Lit!; Mom Enough (editor); The Joy Project; and Newton on the Christian Life, which I’ve reviewed here, here, here, and here (respectively).

When you are called to write, you are able to use words in a way that persuades others towards biblical truth, toward biblical reality. And that’s what, [as an aspiring writer], you want to see. You want to publish things, you want to write things, but you want to watch the effect of your writings on your readers. Do they view this as just self-expression? Or are you changing minds, are you persuading people?

If you are, [then] in some small way, that’s likely pointing you to the idea that God has a calling on your life. . . . And even before this [idea of “calling”] is settled, you should be doing a lot of writing. Write as much as you can. It doesn’t mean publish a lot; but you should be writing a lot.

Barnabas Piper, Episode 3

Piper works for Lifeway books. He blogs regularly at The Blazing Center and is the author of two books, Help My Unbelief and The Pastor’s Kid, which I reviewed here.

If you want to write like C.S. Lewis, you have to go read the classics, you have to read George McDonald. You have to read all these people that came before him. . . . 

People who read my dad, for example, and want to write like John Piper are missing the fact that he’s read every word that the Puritans have written and every word that Jonathan Edwards has written. And he’s read the complete works of C.S. Lewis. Those are the guys to start with. And then you might end up writing like John Piper, or you might discover your own voice that is more effective for you anyway.

Tim Challies, Episode 4

Challies is the author of several books, including Sexual Detox and Do More Better (see my review, here). But he’s best known for his popular blog, Challies.com. The below quote from Challies is just a short one, but he put into words something I have been feeling for the last several months: it’s hard to spread creative energy across multiple projects.

I don’t find that those two [blogging and writing books] work very well together. My creative energy can go to one direction or the other, but rarely to two.

Trevin Wax, Episode 5

Wax works for Lifeway books as the managing editor of the very popular, The Gospel Project. His blog, Kingdom People, is also hosted on The Gospel Coalition’s website. He’s the author of several books, including Gospel-Centered Teaching, Counterfeit Gospels, and Clear Winter Nights.

The best advice I could give is to check your heart. Make sure your motivation is to serve people with your words, not simply to promote your own ideas. . . . 

And the second piece of advice would be to write—a lot. Write even if no one is reading; write to get better at the craft. . . . I think there are a lot of people who are in the position of wanting to be an “aspiring writer” who are not necessarily disciplined enough to turn off the TV, turn off the distractions, not play that particular game, and really just sit down and actually do the work of writing.

Douglas Wilson, Episode 6

Wilson is the author of many, many books. Besides, Wordsmithy, which I mentioned above, two of his more popular books are Evangellyfish and Future Men, which I reviewed here. He’s been the pastor of Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho for over 40 years. He blogs regularly, and with a lot of spunk, at DougWil.com.

[If a non-fiction writer won’t read fiction] basically you’re treating fiction as though it were a distraction, or cotton-candy. “I’m eating a steak here; I don’t have time for cotton-candy.”

But I would say that you have a misunderstanding of what fiction does. The Lord’s entire ministry was made up predominantly of telling fictional stories. So there must be some relationship between fiction/parables to the real world. There are things that you cannot understand in a book of theology . . . if all you read is theology.

BOOKS MENTIONED

[Picture by Luis Llerena / Unsplash]

Husbands, Praise and Praise Again

Rise and rise again
     until lambs become lions.

That’s a line from the movie Robin Hood (2010) with Russell Crowe. It means you must do something over and over until change happens; in this case, you must repeatedly summon the courage for battle until the fearful become fighters.

Recently, while teaching through the book and video series, The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption by Matthew Chandler and Jared Wilson, I came across something I wrote almost twelve years ago. It’s a reflection on the way King Solomon repeatedly praises his bride in the Old Testament book the Song of Solomon (also sometimes called, the Song of Songs).

I wrote it for my then fiancée, now wife, Brooke. But I also wrote it for myself. I hoped it would shape the type of husband I would become, even as it (hopefully and subsequently) would shape my wife. Perhaps I could summarize what I wrote in this way:

Praise and praise again
     until brambles become lilies.

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The point is that a husband is to praise his wife, so constantly, so faithfully, that it changes her.

I don’t think the poetry in my line is as strong as the original from Robin Hood; I’m missing the alliteration of “l” (lambs, lions). But my line does have an allusion to Song of Solomon and the way he praises his bride. In 2:2, he says, “As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women.”

All of this to say, I gave the below reflection on the Song of Solomon some fresh polish, as well as making it more generic so that I could share it with you. May God use it as a helpful reminder—for me and husbands everywhere.

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Right in the middle of the Old Testament, there is a Hebrew love poem written about King Solomon and his bride. In the book, she is not named, though she is referred to once as the “Shulammite” (6:13).

There are a number of different ways to interpret the book. One popular and, I believe, helpful approach is the “chronological” view. (This, by the way, is the view taken in The Mingling of Souls). In this approach, the eight chapters are understood to follow the couple’s relationship from their initial attraction, to their dating, to courting, to wedding, to honeymoon, and finally through married life.

But one thing is for sure: Solomon’s bride is not a rock of security and self-confidence, or at least not originally. In 1:5-6, she says to her friends,

I am very dark, but lovely,
     O daughters of Jerusalem,
like the tents of Kedar,
     like the curtains of Solomon.

Do not gaze at me because I am dark,
     because the sun has looked upon me.
My mother's sons were angry with me;
     they made me keeper of the vineyards,
     but my own vineyard I have not kept!

Can you hear her insecurities? “Do not look at me.”

Apparently, she was not from a wealthy family; her brothers made her work all day outside in a hot vineyard while her “own vineyard,” that is her body and personal appearance, she didn’t “keep.”

If you only read the beginning of their love song, however, you would not expect the Shulammite woman ever to say, “Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits” (4:16b). Yet this is precisely what she whispers to Solomon on her wedding night. She almost sounds like a different woman. And in many ways she is. Something changes, something massive changes.

Brooke and me after our wedding, May 29, 2005.

Throughout the book, Solomon devotes himself to praising and prizing “[his] sister and [his] bride” (4:9). In fact, of all the twenty-one verses that Solomon speaks before chapter five (the consummation of the marriage), not a single verse is missing a praise of her physical beauty, strength of character, or an expression of his desire for her to come away with him.

Solomon praises her eyes three times; her cheeks, fragrance, and lips twice; and her neck, teeth, lips, mouth, breasts, tongue, and her chastity are all admired once. And he pronounces her beautiful six times (1:8, 15 [twice]; 4:1 [twice], 7).

The amazing thing to ponder is that this practice doesn’t cease after the honeymoon. It doesn’t even appear to slow down. He’s like the Energizer Bunny of Praise. Four times, he calls her beautiful (6:4, 10, 7:1, 6). In fact, in the sixteen verses that Solomon speaks after 5:1, only his closing verse (8:13) does not contain overt praise of his wife. Yet even in this line, he expresses his desire to hear her voice.

And this, as I understand it, changes everything.

Husbands, praise and praise again until brambles become lilies.

[Picture by Rachael Crowe / Unsplash]

Consumer v. Covenant Relationships

There’s a lot of pressure on engaged couples to have the perfect wedding. I recently wrote about this in an article called, “The Problem with the Pinterest Dream Wedding.”

After the article was published, an author, Catherine Parks, reached out to me. Parks co-authored a book with her mother about this very topic. It’s called, A Christ-Centered Wedding: Rejoicing in the Gospel on Your Big Day. I just finished reading it last week.

If you’re engaged or if you have a friend or family member who is, this book would make a great gift. It’s full of sturdy, gospel-centered advice to counter the pressures to have the perfect wedding and keep the focus where it ought to be. Catherine Parks and her co-author, Linda Strode, write in the introduction,

Don’t get us wrong—we aren’t saying ... you shouldn’t ever look at Pinterest or magazines [to help create the perfect wedding]. We have just seen so many couples suffer through planning their weddings, weighed down by all the pressure to make them unique and perfect. (p. 2)

This has been my experience working with couples, too.

But this pressure to have a “dream wedding” sometimes spills over to the pastor who officiates the wedding, at least I know it does to me. In my article for Desiring God, I wrote,

There’s something in me, something ugly, that longs to preach Ephesians 5 better than it’s ever been preached: a sermon that engages the un-churched, dazzles the mature Christian, and rescues the estranged couple off the cliff of divorce.

Buy on Amazon

Each time I share a message in a wedding, it’s a little different. That’s because every couple is different. Below is the most recent message I shared at a friend’s wedding. In it, I talk about the difference between “consumer” and “covenant” relationships. I find this distinction to be a helpful way to explain the greater meaning of marriage.

It’s possible that Timothy Keller has said something about this, perhaps in a message I heard him preach on Proverbs or maybe in his book The Meaning of Marriage; it all runs together for me. (If you know where he does this, let me know.)

Anyway, the below message takes me about 8-10 minutes to share. I’m not sure it’s a “Pinterest dream wedding sermon,” but it’s what I’ve got for now.  

[Note, I changed the names of the bride and groom. Also, these reflections followed a reading of Ephesians 5:22-31 done by family members.]

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At this time, I’m going to share a few comments about marriage and about the gospel. These comments are for all of us, but I would especially like to share them with you, John and Jessica.

I will say, though, that if you are here and you are not a Christian—perhaps you haven’t been to a church in a long time, or ever—you may be thinking, “I knew it; here it comes.” If that’s you, that’s okay. If I were you, I might feel that same way.

However, I would encourage you to listen in because so often I find that what people think Christianity is all about, is really not what it’s about at all. And discussing for a few moments the deeper meaning of marriage might be a wonderful way for you to consider what it is that Christians actually believe, at least at the core of our faith.

Marriage is, according to the Bible, more than a lifelong commitment to each other; it’s at least this, but it’s also more. Marriage is a reflection of what the Bible calls “the gospel.” And what I’d like to explain, just briefly, is how your marriage—and all marriages—are to reflect the relationship that God has with his people and God’s people have with him.

A good way to do this is to talk about two types of relationships. I want to talk about “consumer” and “covenant” relationships.

Just so that I’m not misunderstood, both types of relationships—consumer and covenant—have a proper place. Both can be very appropriate and healthy. A problem occurs, however, when we mistake a covenant relationship for a consumer one. To be more specific, the problem is when we mistake the covenant of marriage for a consumer relationship.

But let me back up. When we talk about consumer relationships, what do we mean? They are one-sided relationships where, as long as the other person keeps doing his or her part, then we will do our part. We have these relationships all the time. For example, many times in the last two years, when John and I would meet to talk about life and pray for each other, we would go to either Starbucks or our favorite local coffee shop, Little Amps. These are different types of coffee shops, I know, but I like them both. But I’m in a consumer relationship with them both. If one of them stops “delivering the goods,” well, eventually, I’m going to stop going.

The hallmark of a consumer relationship is that as long as they—the other person—holds up their end of the bargain, then I’ll hold up mine. If they change their product quality or if something happens, well, I’m free to do what I want; it’s my money.

I was talking with my father last year, and he told me how recently, yet reluctantly, he changed his home and car insurance carrier after over thirty some years with the same company. There was an incident that made him change, which I won’t go into. But I bring this up because my father is the most brand-loyal guy I know. When he finds something he likes, he sticks with it. But even for him, even in his loyalty, his relationship with an insurance company is still a consumer relationship.

And there is nothing wrong with that. Again, the problem comes when we bring this consumer view of relationships into marriage, which is to be a covenant relationship.

A covenant relationship is not focused on whether or not the other person delivers the goods. No, a covenant relationship is one based on a solemn vow to hold up your own end of the agreement regardless of whether the other person does. This is the most beautiful of all relationships because it means that you can be truly known—known in all of your glory, but also known in all of your depravity and shame and failures and insecurities—and not only known, but still loved. This is the meaning of unconditional love: truly known and dearly loved.

It’s God’s intention that marriage would be this type of relationship—one not based on what the other person does, but rather, through “better and worse, sickness and health, richer and poorer,” the marriage holds.

Those statements, which are so often included in wedding ceremonies, wouldn’t make any sense in a consumer relationship. If the baristas at Starbucks start spitting in my coffee, well, they are not going to be getting my $2.23 for a grande dark roast, which, by the way, I get with no room for cream or sugar. (Just mentioning that in case anyone ever wants to get me one.)

So, what does this have to do with anything? Let me come back to where I started. John and Jessica, your relationship in marriage is a covenant relationship. It’s to be a place where you truly know each other and deeply love one another—unconditionally.

And the reason that God has designed marriage to work this way is because it displays to the world the way God loves people in the gospel. This is the heart of Christianity. Christians do not believe that God loves us because we have done good; that would be a consumer relationship. Rather, at the heart of Christianity is the covenant love of God.

The sad truth is that all of us, according to the Bible, are more like a faithless bride than a faithful one. Or to put it another way, we have spit in God’s coffee. And the gospel is the good news that, in Jesus, God has undertaken a rescue mission to win back his bride. It’s the good news that God sent his Son, Jesus, to do what we could not, would not, did not do.

The Bible teaches that Jesus lived a perfect life; he was utterly faithful to God the Father, and loved him supremely. And then out of love for God, Jesus went to a cross and died, suffering the ultimate punishment for sin.

Marriage is to display this. Specifically, you John, as a husband and based on the passage of Scripture just read (Ephesians 5:22-31), are to love Jessica as Jesus loves you: sacrificially and unconditionally. This is a high and honorable calling.

And Jessica, your beautiful part is to represent the Church—the part of a loving, responsive, committed Church. Jessica, as an equal in person and value, you are to be John’s best friend and his most devoted helper, that together, you may accomplish the purposes of God, and in doing this, you will display to the world the beauty and blessing that it is for us, the Church, to follow God. You also have a high and beautiful calling.

I want to end with this. Yes, you have your roles to play and yes, you ought to do them well, just as we all ought to do them, but you must remember something in the process: God loves you, both of you, John and Jessica. And though you will both inadequately display the gospel in your marriage, remember that you are not saved because you do right, but because God loved you even while you were at your worst, and he continues to love you. May this gospel of the covenant love of God be the centerpiece of your life together.

[Photo by Josh Felise / Unsplash]