On Telling People You Are Leaving

Recently, I’ve been posting some tips to help pastors find the right job in a local church. This post is a continuation of the series. In it, I encourage pastors to think about who, when, and in what order to tell people you are taking a new job.

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Know who, when, and in what order to tell people you are taking a new job.

Few things have the potential to harm relationships like finding out important information from the wrong person and at the wrong time. For example, if your girlfriend decided to breakup with you, but she told a bunch of other people first, you’re not going to forget this.

Likewise, in the church, it’s important to think through the details related to announcing your transition. When done well, more often than not, transitions can and should be celebrated—not simply endured, or worse, become harmful to the church.

Therefore, when you know you’ll be taking a new job (or that you very likely might be taking a new job), you’ll also want to know whom to tell, how soon to tell them, and in what order to tell them. This means you’ll have to understand your current ministry context and what is appropriate in that context. Are you about to graduate from Bible college? If so, who you tell and in what order you tell them, will look very different than if you are the lead pastor of a mega-church about to leave for another pastorate.

When I was completing seminary, figuring out who to tell and when to tell them wasn’t difficult. The church I attended was a good church, but it didn’t have a full-time position open, nor would it in the foreseeable future. Therefore, it was easy for me to talk openly about job opportunities. In fact, it made for an encouraging season; I could share prayer requests and job updates publicly.

If your context doesn’t allow for such openness (and most won’t), I would encourage you to consider telling others in terms of concentrically expanding circles. The first circle, the inner circle, might consist of key leadership figures. Perhaps this is your senior pastor and the elder board. The next circle may include ministry friends and those in whom you have invested or worked closely with in ministry. Finally, in the last circle, there are those generally in your congregation and those outside your church.

If you tell people in this order, I believe God will be honored.

The only caveat I’ll add to this concentric, expanding circle principle is that there might be a few people—though they won’t be many—who you tell before you tell the senior leadership, perhaps your closest friends and a mentor or two. These might even be, in fact will often be, people outside your church system. These people are the ones who will coach you all along the transition, perhaps even before you’ve identified a new calling.

And when it does come time to make the announcement public, if you have time, go out of your way to tell as many people as you can in person, especially those with whom you were close. The last thing you want is someone in whom you’ve invested (and they in you) to find out you’re leaving when they open the weekly church bulletin.

When I left my last church, there were some constraints on the timing of how we were going to announce it to the whole church body. There always are. As I worked with the church leadership about when to make the announcement public, it turned out that I had merely 48 hours to tell friends and ministry partners before it was publicly announced at our weekend services.

But that was okay; I was so thankful I even had that. And I used it well. I made a list of everyone that I thought might be hurt by hearing the announcement cold, and then I called or met with as many as possible. It made for a busy two days, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Again, I can’t prescribe exactly how this should look in your context. But what I’m stressing is that love and respect for individuals, for the Church (with a capital “C”), and for God’s reputation must be your motivation for how and when you inform people. If you have the goal of only protecting your own interests, you’re in sin (Philippians 2:4-5). But if you seek to love others and honor God, as I said above, more often than not, your transition will be a season of encouragement for yourself, your family, and the churches involved.

DO MORE BETTER by Tim Challies (FAN AND FLAME Book Reviews)

Tim Challies. Do More Better: A Practical Guide to Productivity. Minneapolis, MI: Cruciform Press, 2015. 120 pp. $12.99.

I want to do more—better. Don’t you?

The problem, however, is that my ambition often leaves me feeling like King Solomon described in Psalm 127: with vanity-ache. Rising early, going to bed late, eating the bread of anxious toil—it’s no way to live. Solomon writes, in contrast to this, God “gives to his beloved sleep” (v. 2).

And it’s here that Tim Challies begins Do More Better: A Practical Guide to Productivity, with the encouragement that if a man as busy as King Solomon could figure out how to live a productive but not anxious life then by the grace of God, so can you.

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For those who don’t know, Challies is a husband, father, pastor, author, and has about a half dozen other important roles, such as co-founder of a publishing company (Cruciform Press) and host of a very popular Christian blog (Challies.com). And when I say “popular,” that’s an understatement. His blog had just under 16 million pageviews in 2015. For comparison, mine had less than 16 thousand.

Yet for all this, Challies maintains that he’s no productivity guru.

That’s okay by me, though. He’s certainly a practitioner, and his aim in Do More Better, as he writes, is to “open up [his] life and to let you in a little bit” (7). In other words, Do More Better is decidedly not a bloated textbook of source material  with footnotes. Rather, as the subtitle says, it’s a practical (and we might add “personal”) guide to productivity.

Do More Better has ten short chapters, and begins by stressing the importance of knowing your purpose; you can’t be truly productive without it. Then, Challies talks about how to find your particular purpose and mission, that is, how to find the sphere of responsibility that God has called you to be productive in. The book concludes by exploring tools for collecting your tasks, planning  your calendar, and gathering your information. There are two bonus chapters, one on taming your emails and another with 20 tips for increasing your productivity.

What is Productivity?

Let’s talk for a moment about definitions. Challies defines productivity in this way:

Effectively stewarding your gifts, talents, time, energy, and enthusiasm for the good of others and the glory of God.

When defined in this way, Challies underscores that productivity is first a theological issue. Thus, productivity is not merely a good thing that Type-A personalities kick-start in the early morning hours. Rather, because productivity is about “stewarding your gifts . . . for the good of others and the glory of God,” then to be unproductive is a sin of omission that must be forgiven and forsaken. In short, every Christian, not just go-getters, must strive for productivity.

Drop and Give Me 20

Speaking of striving, be aware that Challies isn’t writing to simply relay information. Get ready to work. To see what I’m talking about, consider how the opening paragraph to Chapter 4 ends: “And that means you are ready for your next assignment” (35).

Assignment? Wait—what?

The assignment he’s talking about is related to identifying your specific purpose and mission, and the responsibilities associated with it. He’ll metaphorically hold your hand through the process, of course, but in this way Challies is more personal trainer than author.

Just as it will do an athlete little good to know the proper form on squats (inhale on the way down, exhale on the way up; flat back; eyes up; and keep your knees from extending beyond your toes—by the way), so it will do the reader little good to burn through this short book without application. Remember, it’s not receiving good coaching that matters. It’s good coaching followed that matters. And by way of encouragement, I can say that I was helped as I completed the assignments.

Small Book, Big Strengths

There are many things I appreciated about Do More Better. Here are a few of them.

First, I appreciated the simplicity. For example, if you have ever found yourself staring at a “To do list,” remember, you can only do four things with each task: delete it, do it, defer it, or delegate it (p. 59).

Second, I loved the bonus chapters, especially the one on taming your email. My approach to my inbox didn’t seem so silly until Challies proposed this: “Imagine if you treated your actual, physical mailbox like you treat your email” (p. 109). If every time you received a letter or piece of junk mail you just peaked at it and stuffed it back in the mailbox, the result would be both humorous and sad.

Finally, my favorite aspect was the distinctively Christian approach to productivity. For example, note this comment about delegating tasks to others.

Most productivity gurus will encourage you to be as selfish as you need to be, to get rid of anything that doesn’t interest or excite you. But as a Christian you can do things that do not perfectly fit your mission but still do them out of love for God and with a desire to glorify him. (p. 42)

Here, as throughout, the book is in stark relief to a selfish, secular approach to productivity. Every aspect of our lives, including our productivity, is to be bounded by godliness. For, what profit is it to us if we achieve massive levels of productivity without glorifying God? Any attainment in God-dishonoring productivity is like running the race backwards—really, really, really fast. Ultimately, you won’t win; instead, you’re productively running in the wrong direction.

If there had been more space, I would have liked to see a little more discussion of Sabbath and contentment. God has appointed limits to our productivity, limits for our good. Also, more critique of the idols of achievement would have further highlighted a distinctively Christian view. The book, however, is purposefully  short. I appreciated this, and I think you will too.

I highly recommend Do More Better. It will help you discover God’s purposes for your life and move productively towards them.

OTHER BOOKS BY TIM CHALLIES

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THE JESUS STORYBOOK BIBLE by Sally Lloyd-Jones (FAN AND FLAME Book Reviews)

Sally Lloyd-Jones (Author), Jago (Illustrator). The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2007. 352 pp. $17.99.

 

My children and I love Disney-Pixar movies. We’re not alone. Probably half a billion people across the world feel the same. 

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The brilliance of the these movies—movies such as Toy Story (which I know is now 20 years old) or more recently Up (2009), or even more recently, Big Hero 6 (2014)—is the way the producers craft the story to engage both children and adults without alienating one or the other.

The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones has this same brilliance. Whether you have been a Christian for many years or you are just being acquainted with the faith, it would be a great resource for you. Oh, the children you know will love it, too.

The rest of this “book review” is not really a review at all. It’s a modified version of an email I recently wrote to a friend. Let’s call her Sarah.

Backstory: My wife and I met Sarah a few months ago. We had a great conversation with her about the Bible. As the conversation went on, we realized that Sarah didn’t really know much about Christianity, and what she did know—as is true of so many people I meet—was all wrong.

Sarah had assumed the Bible was, as Lloyd-Jones writes, “a book of rules, telling you what you should and shouldn’t do.” So, I asked Sarah if we could send her a book to help her get a better sense of what the Bible is really about.

She said, “Sure.”

But before the book arrived, I sent Sarah the below email to explain why I would send a children’s Bible to an educated, non-Christian adult.

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Sarah,

Thanks for emailing! Apparently, I’m slow at responding. Sorry.

Okay, so here’s the deal on the book we were talking about. I just ordered it, and it should get to you in a day or two. However, let me give you a heads up so that you are not confused when it arrives. I’m sending you a children’s Bible. Yes, you read that correctly. It even has tons of pictures!

I hope you chuckle at that and are not offended. I know you are very intelligent and educated. The children’s Bible I’m sending, though, is actually not your typical Bible for kiddos. It’s actually very, very good, and it’s very well written. In fact, I have used it many times with adults at my church and they have appreciated it each time. (It’s also, by the way, the Bible we read as a family, and even though I’m a pastor and very familiar with the Bible, I often get a lot out of it, too.)

Anyway, the main reason I’m sending this book is because it’s the best resource I know for capturing the overarching narrative of the actual Bible, namely, a story about a rescue mission to broken people, not mainly a collection of stories designed to teach morals. There is a huge difference.

One of the phrases that the author (Sally Lloyd-Jones) uses repeatedly to describe God’s love is, “Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.” I think that’s a pretty good description of one of the main themes of the real Bible.

As you and I discussed in person, the Bible is a BIG book, and it tends to overwhelm most people, at least at first. Reading this could be a helpful way to investigate Christianity in a few hours without having to slog through the whole Bible—of course, I’m a proponent of reading the Bible straight up, 100-proof style . . . but maybe not yet. Or maybe next? If so, I can help start you on that process, as well.

Again, I hope you chuckle and are not offended with my selection. Thanks for emailing. Now I’m back to work.

Thanks,
Benjamin

Benjamin Vrbicek | Teaching Pastor
Community Evangelical Free Church

My Inner Curmudgeon and The SpongeBob SquarePants Game of Life

I try to not to be a curmudgeon. Really, I do. Some authors fuel their blogs with nothing more than their “Inner Curmudgeon.” Like cars without gas, their blogs would cease to run without him.

I, however, show restraint—most of the time.

Last spring, my annoyance with the television show The Bachelor oozed out here. Today, I’m afraid my Curmudgeon spills out again. This time it’s directed at The Game of Life.

Over Christmas, my daughter was given the game. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not at all mad at the person who gave it. In fact, we enjoyed playing it together as a family. And besides being fun, the game teaches many helpful life skills.

PICTURE OF MY WIFE’S CAR. Apparently, after 4 kids, one has to ride on the roof.

There’s an aspect of the game, however, that drives me nuts. You’ll have to read my letter to the Consumer Affairs Department of Hasbro Games to find out what bothers me.

It’s not the best example of evangelism and, I’m not sure I’d send it again, but with only a little updating, I attached (below) the letter I wrote to them in the summer of 2006 after my Inner Curmudgeon was poked by The SpongeBob SquarePants Edition of The Game of Life.

(By the way, Hasbro Games did write back. They sent a form letter thanking me for the feedback.)

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Hasbro Games, Consumer Affairs Department
PO Box 200
Pawtucket, RI 02862

 Re: THE GAME OF LIFE in Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob SquarePants Edition

Dear Consumer Affairs Department:

Over Memorial Day weekend, my wife and I went to visit my family in Chicago. My little sister Katelyn (nine years old), asked me to join her in some board games. One of the games we played was The SpongeBob SquarePants Game of Life.

Because I noticed in the instruction booklet that it states that you would be “happy to hear any comments about the game,” I thought I would send a few.

I can appreciate some of the life skills that your board game teaches children, such as budgeting, making mortgage payments, dealing with unexpected expenses, and the importance of a college education. However, I did not appreciate the outlook promoted by the game, specifically what constitutes a “successful life.”

In explaining how a player wins the game, the back page of the instruction booklet reads,

After all players have reached the Shady Shoals Rest Home, cash out . . . . The player with the highest net worth wins! [Online here]

The question I want to ask is whether this the right worldview to portray how the real game of life is “won”? Are the biggest winners in life those who store up as much wealth and property and possessions and net worth before they “kick back and relax at the Shady Shoals Rest Home”?

I don’t think it is. Some of the richest people in the world are miserable. The person with the biggest house, most toys, and largest bank account can still miss the whole point of existence, thus not win the real game of life, but lose.

While I don’t expect this letter to represent a majority, I simply urge the one or two people who will read this letter to not throw it out without reflection. Real life is no game. We are only given one chance and we must decide whether or not life consists in the abundance of our possessions. I believe that life is more than amassing a large net worth.

Consider the weighty implications of the question that Jesus once posed: “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). In other words, if a person arrives at Shady Shoals Rest Home with the highest net worth, yet missed the whole point of existence, what does he or she gain?

The answer to the rhetorical question is, “Nothing.” It is no advantage to gain as much stuff as possible only to have death rip it from one’s hands.

As an alternative way to go about things, Jesus taught,

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. (Matthew 6:19-20)

We store up “treasures in heaven” not by climbing the corporate ladder or keeping up with the Joneses but by receiving Jesus Christ as our treasure. And for those who do this, their treasure will never be taken away.

Again, I understand that every board game must have a way for people to “win.” My encouragement is that you broaden your understanding of how winning is measured.

Sincerely,
Benjamin Vrbicek

Reading List 2015

For the last three years, I have tracked every book that I’ve read. My goal has been to read 52 a year—about 1 a week. If for no other reason than accountability, I publish the list at the end of the year on my blog. Often, I need this kind of pressure to perform.

So, in 2013, I read 34 books. In 2014, I read 50 (list here). This year, 51!

To be sure, this makes it look like things are trending in the right direction (34 -> 50 -> 51). And in some ways, they are. If you measure 2015 by the total number of pages, however, I’m actually down a bit. Last year I averaged 251 pages a week, whereas this year I only averaged 218, which amounts to approximately 2,000 missing pages.

This leads me to the first of 5 (brief) comments before I share my list.

First, reading a total of 51 books, which is just 1 short of the goal of 52, on the one hand, is not at all a big deal. On the other hand, it actually stings quite a bit. Here’s the reason: if you look at my list, the book that I want to re-read every year didn’t make it—the Bible is missing.

I did, of course, read a lot of the Bible, but on my list I only count “completed” books. As of this morning (12/31/15), I’m in John 20. Thus, I feel as though presenting my list is like displaying a huge puzzle that’s missing the most important piece—a piece that’s exactly 2,000 pages. Next year, by the grace of God, I hope to fix this. Please hold me accountable.

Second, this year I read more novels than ever before in my life. There were 8 that came from our church book club, which I helped lead. Another 3 came from The Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis. These I read aloud to my family. Both the book club and the family reading time were rich additions to life.

Third, there’s lots of Timothy Keller on the list: 6 books and 12.5% of the total pages, to be exact. He’s such a helpful writer. If you’re not familiar with Keller, his prose is very simple but the ideas are profound.

Fig. 1. 5-week Rolling average of my reading in 2015.

Fourth, as you can see from the chart (above), it looks as though I read the most books in the fall and the least in the late spring. I’m not sure what that tells me, except this: (Next year) after Easter, don’t slow down!

Finally, because people ask (and because it seems this like what bloggers often talk about), my 2 favorite books of the year were What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung (which I talk about here), and The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Writing in the 21st Century by Steven Pinker. They were very different books, but each is excellent in its own way.

Without further ado, here’s my book list in the order I completed them…

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Reading List 2015

1. Is God anti-gay? (Questions Christians Ask) by Sam Allberry (88 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
2. Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill (160 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
3. Burning Hearts: Preaching to the Affections by Josh Moody, Robin Weekes (144 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
4. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (200 pages)
5. Evangelical Convictions: A Theological Exposition of the Statement of Faith of the EFCA by EFCA Spiritual Heritage Committee (321 pages)
6. The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living As If He Doesn’t Exist by Craig Groeschel (256 pages)
7. A Man After God’s Own Heart: Devoting Your Life to What Really Matters by Jim George (272 pages)
8. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (180 pages)
9. The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg (288 pages)
10. The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness: The Path to True Christian Joy by Timothy Keller (48 pages)
11. Affirming the Apostles’ Creed by J.I. Packer (160 pages)
12. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (112 pages)
13. Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis (200 pages)
14. Who is Jesus? by Greg Gilbert (144 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
15. The End of the Affair by Graham Greene (192 pages)
16. What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung (160 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
17. Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography and Masturbation by Mark Driscoll (56 pages)
18. The Word Became Fresh: How to Preach from Old Testament Narrative Texts by Dale Ralph Davis (160 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
19. Taking God At His Word: Why the Bible Is Knowable, Necessary, and Enough, and What That Means for You and Me by Kevin DeYoung (144 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
20. Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung (144 pages)
21. The Hole in Our Holiness: Filling the Gap between Gospel Passion and the Pursuit of Godliness by Kevin DeYoung (160 pages)
22. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (72 pages)
23. Themelios, An International Journal for Students and Religious Studies (Vol. 40, issue 1; April 2015) by Carson, D.A., and Others (Editors) (196 pages)
24. A Time to Embrace: Same-Sex Relationships in Religion, Law, and Politics, 2nd edition by William Stacy Johnson (390 pages)
25. God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines (224 pages)
26. God and the Gay Christian? A Response to Matthew Vines by Albert Mohler, Jr. (Editor) (96 pages)
27. Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes: Removing Cultural Blinders to Better Understand the Bible by E. Randolph Richards, Brandon J. O’Brien (240 pages)
28. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner (267 pages)
29. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller (310 pages)
30. The Old Songs by Fred Burton (220 pages)
31. Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters by Timothy Keller (256 pages)
32. Judges For You: For Reading, For Feeding, For Leading (God’s Word for You) by Timothy Keller (224 pages)
33. Judges: Such a Great Salvation by Dale Ralph Davis (240 pages)
34. Book Launch: How to Write, Market & Publish Your First Bestseller in Three Months or Less AND Use it to Start and Grow a Six Figure Business by Chandler Bolt (172 pages)
35. 4 (short) eBooks by various authors (100 pages)
36. The Joy Project: A True Story of Inescapable Happiness by Tony Reinke (148 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
37. The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Writing in the 21st Century by Steven Pinker (368 pages)
38. Newton on the Christian Life: To Live Is Christ by Tony Reinke (288 pages) [READ MY REVIEW]
39. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger (320 pages)
40. Moving On, Moving Forward: A Guide for Pastors in Transition by Michael J. Anthony, Mick Boersma (304 pages)
41. What Color Is Your Parachute? 2016: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers by Richard N. Bolles (368 pages)
42. Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry (384 pages)
43. How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading by Mortimer J. Adler, Charles Van Doren (426 pages)
44. Galatians for You: For Reading, for Feeding, for Leading by Timothy Keller (208 pages)
45. Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (272 pages)
46. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (278 pages)
47. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller (352 pages)
48. Best Wedding Meditations: An Anthology by various authors (71 pages)
49. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis (200 pages)
50. Duel in the Sun: Alberto Salazar, Dick Beardsley, and America’s Greatest Marathon by John Brant (256 pages)
51. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas (304 pages)

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