Stories typically have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And it’s often not until we know the ending of a story that we realize all that was happening in the beginning, and for that matter, in the middle. When we think about the story of God’s love for the world—what Christians call the gospel—and we reflect upon what that good news story has to do with marriage, we learn something precious about God.

Bumper Stickers

Before we get there, I’ll tell you a story. My first pastorate was in Tucson, Arizona. In Tucson there was one particular, prominent church that gave its attendees bumper stickers with the church’s name and logo on it. I guess I should say that I presume that they gave out the bumper stickers and asked people to put it on their cars, as opposed to simply sending out covert volunteers during the service to slap the stickers on cars in the parking lot. I assume they did not do that. I do think if we had that “ministry” at our church, there would be people who would want to join the team, which is one of several reasons why we don’t.

I would see these bumper stickers all over Tucson. Nearly every time I saw one, I would wish I was privy to a conversation that I was not privy to; I wish I had been in the staff meeting when a leader presented the idea for the bumper stickers.

I imagine it going like this: “So, I have an idea I want to run by you,” says the summer intern. “I’m thinking that the Christians who call our church home, have lives so wonderfully transformed by Jesus, that Jesus is actually influencing the way they drive. In fact, our people drive so courteously, thoughtfully, safely, and law-abidingly, that we should capitalize on their good Christian driving. I think more people will come to our church based on how our people drive if we put our logo on their cars. Let’s have their driving advertise how wonderful it is to come to our church.”

I would have liked to have been in that staff meeting to hear the response. Evidently, they bought the sales pitch.

I’m poking fun at that idea and all of our poor driving, which, whether we are Christians or not, is often not done so courteously and law-abidingly.

But in a real way, God has set up the story of redemption to be a story about marriage. God has chosen—as strange as it might seem to us—to advertise his goodness through the vehicle of marriage. Marriages are to display not merely the couple’s love for each other but God’s love for his bride.

The Beginning

In the beginning of the story of God’s love for his people, God creates a man and a woman in his image. He creates two co-rulers of creation, a King and a Queen if you will, to multiply and have dominion over the earth.

Sometimes when we hear the language in Genesis of having dominion and subduing, we think of carbon footprints and corporations polluting the oceans and so on. In other words, we think of the bad kind of subduing. But in the context, the King called Adam and the Queen called Eve, are to rule the way God was ruling: In each subsequent day of creation, God took raw, unformed material and made it better; he made an environment more and more cultivated and suited to life and beauty. And as Adam and Eve ruled, they were to do the same. God’s intention for their ruling was not just for their benefit but for others too.

Consider the familiar phrase, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). In the story, there’s no mother and no father yet, so what is that about? God is setting up a pattern that he intends to continue after the garden of Eden. It’s a good pattern. God has a grand purpose for marriage, not only for the individual couple but the work of advertising that he’ll do through marriage, if you allow me to use that word advertising.

What we see in the biblical story, however, is that shortly thereafter, Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and everything about everything got hard and ugly. When they fell into sin, Adam’s sin plunged all of us into ten thousand problems, including those in marriage (cf. Romans 5:12–21).

The Middle

And yet, despite all our issues of sin and struggle, in the middle of God’s story, we see that God still chose to liken the joy of marriage and the joy of a bride and groom, to the joy of knowing him. One example of that is from the prophet Isaiah where God likens the joy of being clothed in the garments of salvation to the joy of being decked out on your wedding day.

. . . for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
    he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. (Isaiah 61:10b)

In the New Testament, which is that part of the Bible written ]after Jesus came to earth, an author says something similar in a letter to a church in a city called Ephesus. But this time the wording is more specific. After quoting the passage from Genesis about a man leaving his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife, the apostle Paul writes, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). Paul sees in marriage an advertising scheme, a way to display to the world how much God loves the world.

Marriage: Not a Job Interview but a Covenant Relationship

For us to make sense of that, we have to understand marriage, not how most people understand it today, but how God intends it to be. Here’s what I mean. It’s common for people to think that marriage is simply a more serious version of dating and living together. But that’s not actually true. Yes, marriage is more serious than dating, but marriage is not just the next level of dating or living together; marriage is a new, special type of relationship. When couples date and, sadly, live together before marriage, that positions the relationship like a job interview that doesn’t end.

However, God considers marriage a covenant relationship, not a consumer relationship or an extended job interview. In marriage, you already have the job. Thus, a covenant relationship is not focused on whether the other person delivers the goods. A covenant relationship is one based on a solemn vow to uphold your end of the agreement regardless of whether the other person does.

And this is why covenant relationships are so beautiful. In a covenant relationship you can be truly known—known in all of your glory, but also known in all of your depravity and shame and failures and insecurities—and not only known but still loved. This is the meaning of unconditional love: truly known and dearly loved.

It’s God’s intention that marriage would be this type of relationship—one not based on what the other person does, but rather, through “better and worse, sickness and health, richer and poorer,” the marriage holds.

God has designed marriage to work this way to display to the world the way he loves people in what Christians call the gospel; the gospel is the heart of Christianity. God doesn’t love us because we always look the way a couple looks on their wedding day, a handsome groom and a beautiful bride. The gospel is the good news that, in Jesus, God has undertaken a rescue mission for his enemies or, we might say, for a faithless bride. It’s good news that God is not interviewing me for the job of being a Christian, as though if I just perform well enough for long enough, well, then he’ll love me. If this is how you experience God, you don’t know him as he desires to be known.

Let me be more specific. The Bible teaches that Jesus lived a perfect life; he was utterly faithful to God his Father and loved him supremely. Then out of love for his Father and us, Jesus went to a cross and died, suffering the ultimate punishment for our sin, not his. Then he rose again, indicating that all punishment for anyone who trusts in Jesus is gone. The posture of God toward his children is now only that of strong, warm covenant love.

This is the mystery that Paul wrote about, the mystery that is no longer a mystery. A pastor once wrote a poem that has a few lines that speak to this. The lines go like this:

. . . marriage, from / the first embrace, is but the small / and faulty echo of a thrall / and union high above . . . (John Piper, “Joseph: Part 4,” Desiring God, December 21, 1997)

Marriages are but a faulty echo of the greater union, the author says, the union of God with his people, the union of Christ the groom with the church, his bride. I think that’s true.

You might ask the question if this is only true of good marriages. It’s not. Even our imperfect marriages testify that there is something greater, something better out there. I’ll explain. When a couple has a rotten season of marriage, or when a person wants to be married but is not married, it’s not usually that they think marriage itself is terrible. They feel disappointment because they hope for better from marriage. To use a metaphor, if I were eating cardboard, I wouldn’t be surprised that it tasted awful; it’s cardboard—of course it tastes bad. But if we were feasting, and the food was rotten and made us sick, we would be frustrated because we know feasting should lead to joy.

And so, the hurt of a sad marriage is compounded because we know, in our heart of hearts, that it was not supposed to be this way. In other words, even our sadness over broken marriages testifies, sometimes as a whisper and sometimes as a shout, that marriages are supposed to be good and that there is more to marriage than a marriage.

The End

Look what God says about marriage in the last book of the Bible, the end of the story.

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
    the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
    and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
    and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
    with fine linen, bright and pure”—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” (Revelation 19:6–9)

As I wrote above, stories typically have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s often not until we know the ending of a story that we realize all that was happening in the beginning, and for that matter, in the middle.

Throughout the biblical story, we get hints of the greater purpose of marriage, which becomes explicit in the book of Revelation. All the joy, all the feasting, all the celebration, all the love, all the “for better’s and for worse’s,” point to the great day of feasting and joy and celebration at what the Bible calls the “marriage supper of the Lamb,” a phrase used twice in this passage to refer to the great feast of the redeemed at the end of time. The Lamb is a way to refer to Jesus, the one who paid for the wedding. Weddings are expensive. I know those who sit on the front row of a wedding know this well. Jesus paid for the great wedding feast with his life. And one day all the forgiven will feast together.

On Christ’s behalf, as a preacher of the gospel, I invite you to that feast. You only need to give God your empty hands and your hungry belly. And he promises to feed you rich food (cf. Isaiah 55:1–3; John 6:35).

Marriages display this gospel, which is why marriage is a high and honorable calling. May God, in his grace, enable the good news of the covenant love of God to be the centerpiece of our marriages. And may our marriages become beautiful bumper stickers pointing people to the fierce and forever love of God.

* Photo from Marc A. Sporys by Unsplash