In the spring my book Struggle Against Porn: 29 Diagnostic Tests for Your Head and Heart was published by Rainer Publishing. The audiobook is finally available for purchase. David K. Martin did a fantastic job narrating the book.

You can buy the audiobook at Amazon and Audible and soon at Hoopla, Overdrive, and ChristianAudio.

The sample listed with the audiobook comes from Chapter 13 of the book: “Cultivate the Fear of the Lord.” Below is the text of that chapter and a way to listen. I’d love for you to check out the book.

Thanks,
Benjamin

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Chapter 13: Cultivate the Fear of the Lord

This part of the book (Cross-Training) began with the admonition to cultivate humility. Now I’ll close with the admonition to cultivate the fear of the Lord.

We often assume fear is a negative thing, which it can be. Christians shouldn’t live with the fear that God doesn’t love us. At the core of the gospel is the propitiation of God’s wrath. Any and all wrath that ought to have fallen on sinners like us was averted from God’s children and placed on Jesus (Rom 3:21–26). Therefore, we’ve nothing left to fear; the price has been paid, and the punishment has been absorbed by the Lamb of God. As John writes, “There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18).

However, we ought to cultivate a healthy fear of the Lord. Proverbs maintains that fear is the beginning of wisdom (1:7; 9:10). When I speak of healthy fear, I mean the fear of disappointing God. I mean awe at the splendor of his majesty and wonder over his creative power. I mean reverence in response to his wrath and his justice. I mean astonishment over his loving-kindness, which has been lavished upon us in the gospel. As the apostle Paul writes, “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God” (2 Cor 7:1).

We also ought to cultivate a fear of our own capacity to sin. Apart from the restraining grace of God, we’re not beyond committing any sin (Gen 20:6). It might seem ridiculous to you that someday you would view porn on five Internet browsers at the same time, but it’s not beyond you. If you’re familiar with the Lord of the Rings novels, you’ve seen this concept dramatized. The characters who have the greatest respect for the power of the ring and the greatest fear of how they themselves might abuse it become the safest and most helpful to the cause (Gandalf, Aragorn, and Galadriel). On the other hand, those who are the most overconfident in their own incorruptible ability become a threat (Boromir).

This truth became clear to me during an event in college. The man who discipled me also met regularly with one of the athletic coaches who was investigating Christianity. One day he told me this coach was having trouble becoming a Christian because of all the shame he felt from “real sins.” By this, I think he meant things that so-called good Christians would never do. I remember my friend looked at me and asked, “Take stealing, for example. When was the last time you stole something?”

I said, “I dunno.” And then the conversation moved on to other things.

The very next day, as I was munching on the sausage pizza I’d just stolen, I remembered our conversation. No, I hadn’t just robbed a Dominos, but I did make an on-campus “lunch and learn” a “loot and leave.”

Though I see the point about “real sins,” I also believe we all need to be more afraid of our own capacity to sin. We need guardrails to keep ourselves from veering and driving off a dangerous cliff.

For example, it’s sometimes necessary as a pastor to have a private conversation with a woman. But when I do, I’m always very careful to have other people around. When I email women, I keep my tone formal. When my wife and I go on a date, if our babysitter is a female teenager who doesn’t drive, I’ll never be the one to drive her home.

To some, these measures may seem like overkill or paranoia but taking no precautions would be assuming I’m more spiritual than King David. Many issues led David to be alone on a roof at the time when kings were supposed to go out to battle (2 Sam 11:1). Had he established proper guardrails, the naked woman named Bathsheba might have never caught his eye, and even if she did, he may have dealt with the temptation differently.

Again, cultivating a fear of our own capacity to sin is a corollary of cultivating a healthy fear of the Lord. Apart from the restraining grace of God, we’re not beyond any sin, sexual or otherwise, which brings us right back to where this section started: cultivating humility.

Diagnostic Questions:

1. When you hear the phrase “the fear of the Lord,” what comes to mind?

2. How might fear of the Lord help you in your pursuit of purity?

3. What practical steps can you take to cultivate “good, healthy” fear—fear of the Lord and fear of our capacity to sin?

4. Are there certain sins you feel are beyond you? If so, which sins and why? In what ways are you different from those who commit those sins?

5. Guardrails aren’t necessary everywhere—only where danger exists. What guardrails have you placed in your life to keep you from driving over a cliff?